UnNews:Hey Girls! Come and watch "Sex in the City 2" - Its gonna be SHIT!

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

23 December 2009

"Hey girls lets buy more shoes then go to the coffee shop and moan about fucking men!"

IT PROMISES TO BE JUST AS BUTT-FUCKERINGLY SHIT AS THE LAST ONE when it's released next year, and after months of seeing soft focus "teaser" photos of the old hags who stutter and flounce around, arm in arm with their smug toothy "hey fuck off men, we don't need you" grins we finally have a chance to be fucking bombarded with what's in store for the inevitable sequel to the Sex And The City movie in the first official trailer.

Sarah Jessica Parker, 74, Kim Cattrall, 98, Kristin Davis, who died in 1976 and Cynthia Nixon, who doesn't even fucking exist, take on another arse-numbingly tedious "adventure" set two years after the banal events of the first film, but in an alternate universe.

The trailer gives a small hint at what is in store for the group, including a trip to a bear baiting circus in the Ukraine where one of the girls falls for a hunky Bulgarian people smuggler, but reveals very little about the plot, because there shitting well isn't one!

At the end of the last film we saw Charlotte bracing herself for her upcoming campaign to be the next President of North Korea, while Miranda started a new career as an Irish Republican terrorist. Meanwhile, Samantha celebrated her 98th birthday by sacrificing a baby to the God Imhotep, and after some lavish planning and missed connections, Carrie and Big (Chris Noth) finally moved into their underground volcano base.

And while the trailer doesn't help to explain the plot of the sequel - there fucking isn't one - Carrie gives us a hint near the end of the trailer when she says: "Sometimes you just have to start a thermonuclear war with the girls."

We then see the group enjoying the Middle Eastern sun and nonchalantly strolling through the desert, as charred corpses litter the battle scarred, irradiated dust around them in a scene from the very depths of Hades. As expected, the high-end fashion, "heartwarming" camaraderie and "laughs" will be evident throughout - at least if you like that sort of thing, which I don't.

To catch the trailer click here

Sources

• SEX? "sex?" in the shitty more like!, 23 12, 2009