UnNews:God deluges Southern Florida in rain
Thursday, June 13, 2024
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This article is part of the UnNews Weather Service, your source for up-to-the-minute (brain) fog. |
NAPLES, Florida
After the region suffered an intense drought during May, Southern Florida is now being deluged by intense rainfall. Most scientists are surprised about this rainfall, as the low-pressure area which is suspected to cause it isn't even a hurricane, therefore it couldn't have caused it. However, God himself has just revealed that He was the one who caused the drought and torrential rainfall.
"When Ron DeSantis tried to ban the rainbow flag, he forgot that the rainbow was My trademark, meaning that if anyone tries to ban it, they will suffer tenfold." God revealed in a press conference a few hours ago. Additionally, God stated that he would keep ruining Florida until the government will finally stop trying to pick up useless fights.
Soon after this info was revealed, Ron DeSantis's approval rating sank for the third time this year, after he forgot about the aid that Fort Myers needed to recover after Hurricane Ian, and lost his battle against Disney...for the ninth time. If this keeps going on, maybe Floridans will stop voting for Republican governors for once.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "South Florida residents told to steer clear of 'life-threatening' flooding" NBC, June 12, 2023
- "Florida's flag bill stalls as culture war legislation loses momentum" Axios, February 13, 2024