UnNews:Exclusive interview with Beyonce
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Pop singer Beyonce has spoken exclusively to UnNews about her Super Bowl halftime show, after it received criticism from some groups who claimed that she most likely didn't know shit about the controversial people and groups she was referencing.
UnNews
So, Beyonce, I know you don’t have much time. Could you tell us a little bit about your feelings on the Black Panther Party? Were you aware this was the 50th anniversary of their formation, and that the Levi’s stadium is a stone’s throw from their historical home in Oakland, as long as you throw like an angry black man?
Beyonce: No, to be honest. My main thought process, as I was standing around in lingerie practicing the dance routine to my latest song about being an empowered woman, was: Carolina Panthers… Black Panthers. I also thought about Panthro from the Thundercats - who was a brother too, you know - but I went with Black Panthers. Then I did a Google search about them, just to check what para-military meant.
UnNews Right, and weren’t you a little concerned that this was a rather complex group to put on a pedestal? Their early chapters were notoriously male-dominated, gun-toting leather jacket types who were out to “police the police”. Is that the way you see the #blacklivesmatter movement moving forward?
Beyonce: Yes.
UnNews Oh. Really? I was going to ask you if you were more interested in the later developments where women became the majority in the group, and it focused on political and social change…
Beyonce: No, I think what we really need is to fight fire with fire. I’m pretty sure that the police brutality figures wouldn’t be so high if brothers stood around them with automatic rifles drawn - I'm talking legal, open-carry. That's the only language them mofos understand.
UnNews Wow, OK. Well I guess that is clear. Coming to Malcolm X: he, too, has been a controversial figure, although much can be made of his final days in which he rejected the Nation of Islam and thought again about racism and segregation…
Beyonce: That was when he got got.
UnNews Got got?
Beyonce: Yeah, we don’t know how but whitey got to him. I think segregation is the answer. White folks and black folks won’t ever really be able to live together.
UnNews You are proposing a separate African-American state?
Beyonce: Yeah, just like Malcolm did. Me and some of the other members from the Beverly Hills chapter are still working on the borders, but let’s just say most of the Dirty South is ours.
UnNews And finally, some people questioned your lyrical and sartorial references to Michael Jackson, given his trouble with child abuse allegations. You said your child has Jackson 5 nostrils, but aren’t you worried that if Michael Jackson were still alive, he might be attracted to your kids?
Beyonce: Darn you, you goshdarn cracker. Get your butt out of here! I am a busy woman, I don’t need to hear this stuff. I am gonna go on MTV now and sing a song in my panties about being an empowered woman, in front of a group of homosexual dancers dressed as Minister Farrakhan.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Leverage, "The Anti-Beyoncé Protest Rally – who's racist now?" Guardian, February 13, 2016
