UnGames:Castle/subpages
THE CASTLE
Inspired by ideas given by ripped off from The Abyss.
Version 0. Licensed Under Absolutely Nothing. Created by this dude, who has morphed into this dude, and given a makeover by this dude.
Welcome to The Castle. It is a game that involves... a castle.
You are in a whitewashed room in a castle. It is fairly non-descript. The only exit is down a flight of stairs. There is an arrow slit to the east.
You have a dagger and a small amulet.
Attack with Amulet[edit | edit source]
> attack with amulet
That titchy little amulet doesn't really do much damage. You die.
- *** You have died ***
Mysterious Chamber[edit | edit source]
> enter infinite blackness
You enter the fog, and fall unconcious. You have a weird dream involving a homosexual bearsharktopus and a Mimbu.
Your head clears and you wake up. You are in some sort of a dungeon. There is a man standing next to a ramp leading up into the light. Otherwise, it is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan and some necklace beads.
Mysterious Chamber[edit | edit source]
> attack the man
You lurch at the man.
The man whips out some sort of a weapon and hits you with it. You feel slightly hazy. Reality begins to recede.
- *** You have died ***
Mysterious Chamber[edit | edit source]
> go back
You walk backwards into a wall.
You feel dazed and confused. You feel as if you're being eaten by a grue.
- *** You have died ***
Mysterious Chamber[edit | edit source]
> give the beads and the amulet to the man
The man silently takes the toll, then lets you past.
> go up the ramp to the light
You go past the man, and go up the ramp into the light. You hear a scream. Stupid man. He went back into the darkness.
> go back up the ramp
You go up the ramp. You are in a semi-walled garden of some kind. It is of exceptional beauty, and flooded with sunlight. No grue could survive in here for very long. There is also a cave with a vending machine next to it.
You have a dagger and a frying pan.
Mysterious Chamber[edit | edit source]
> examine man
The man is cloaked. He notices you are examining him and he says "If ye wisheth to go up into the light, then it will cost ye some beads or coins; and a fine trinket like the one that hangeth round ye neck."
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan and a some necklace beads.
Mysterious Chamber[edit | edit source]
> ignore man and go up ramp
The man whips out some sort of a weapon and hits you with it. You feel slightly hazy. Reality begins to recede.
- *** You have died ***
Dark Passage[edit | edit source]
> go through door in front
You are in a dark corridor. Most of the doors appear securely locked. There is only one door at the end that appears unlocked. There is also a door behind you, leading to the yard, and a stairway.
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan and some necklace beads.
Dark Passage[edit | edit source]
You are in a dark corridor. Most of the doors appear securely locked. There is only one door at the end that appears unlocked. There is also a door leading to the yard, and a stairway behind you, leading back down to the dungeon.
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan and some necklace beads.
Dark Stairs[edit | edit source]
> go through left door
You are standing in a dimly-lit stairwell. There is a door behind you.
Dark Stairs[edit | edit source]
> go up other stairs
You are standing in a dimly-lit stairwell. There is a door in front of you.
The Dungeon[edit | edit source]
> down
You are in a dimly-lit dungeon. There is an old man chained to a wall by one hand, drinking from a bowl and groaning loudly. There is a table in the center of the room with a key attached to a heavy lead weight upon it. The weight is probably there to keep thieves like you from pinching it. It'll be too heavy for you to carry long distances. There is a stairway next to the old man, opposite the one you just came down.
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan, and some necklace beads.
- Try to use the key to unchain the old man
- Go back up the stairs from which you came down
- Go up the other stairs
The Dungeon[edit | edit source]
> unchain the old man with the key
Did you ever think for a minute that there might be a reason why the old man was chained up? Well, the reason was, he was a complete and utter psychopath. He grabs you, chains you up, then gores you horribly with your own dagger.
- *** You have died ***
The Dungeon[edit | edit source]
> go down the stairs
You are in a dimly-lit dungeon. There is an old man chained to a wall by one hand, drinking from a bowl and groaning loudly. There is a table in the center of the room with a key attached to a heavy lead weight upon it. The weight is probably there to keep thieves like you from pinching it. It'll be too heavy for you to carry long distances. There is a stairway, behind you, and another at the opposite end of the room.
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan, and some necklace beads.
Arrow Slit[edit | edit source]
> east
You go east. You are standing at an arrow slit. You can't see much out of it.
You can see the castle walls. This castle is a huge place. Beyond the walls are miles upon miles of bleak moorland.
The Garden[edit | edit source]
You are in a beautiful semi-walled garden, flooded with sunlight. There is a cave with a vending machine next to it.
The Cave[edit | edit source]
> examine cave
It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a cave grue.
The Cave[edit | edit source]
You get eaten by a grue. What do you expect to get from hanging about in a dark cave?
> Uh... crapped on by a bat?
Don't play smart with me.
- *** You have died ***
The Cave[edit | edit source]
> scream loudly
You scream loudly like a little girly girl. Your scream echoes through the caves and further into the cave you hear a rumbling sound that sounds a lot like a rockfall. After a while your echoes subside, and the cave it still and quiet again.
If there were any grues here before that didn't know you were here, they sure do know. And they know you scream like a little girl.
The Garden[edit | edit source]
> Purchase crab juice
You put all your money in the vending machine and press the button and wait. The machine whirs to life, makes a few clunking noises, and then stops.
The Garden[edit | edit source]
> examine garden
The garden is full of wildflowers, with paths in a swastika shape. While examining the garden, you find two quarters and three nickels.
You have a dagger, a frying pan, two quarters and three nickels.
The Garden[edit | edit source]
> examine vending machine
It is a fine vending machine, with perfect body-work. The bad news is it seems to only serve crab juice. There is also the fact you don't have any money.
You have a dagger and a frying pan.
The Garden[edit | edit source]
> smash machine
You whip out your frying pan and smash the machine open. You continue smashing at the inner workings of the machine until a particularly sharp piece of the inner workings flies out and decapitates you.
- *** You have died ***
The Garden[edit | edit source]
> examine vending machine
It is a fine vending machine, with perfect body-work. The bad news is it seems to serve only crab juice, for 55 cents.
You have a dagger, an amulet, two quarters and three nickels.
The Kitchen[edit | edit source]
> go back into kitchen
You go back into the kitchen, and lock the door. You hear a loud banging on the door. The burly women has obviously woken up.
The door falls down. Stupid discount builders. The women isn't best pleased. In fact, she punches you like there's no tomorrow. You die.
- *** You have died ***
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> go through door at end of corridor
You are in a child's bedroom. It is fairly well-furnished.
There is a set of runes carved into the cold stone wall, and a hole in the wall that appears to be the same shape as your amulet. Just as you are about to inspect the runes more closely, a kid walks in. He seems to be wondering what the heck you are doing in his room.
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan and a some necklace beads.
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> put amulet in amulet-shaped hole
You shove the amulet into the hole. It's a perfect fit. Unfortunately, a 10,000 Amp current starts to pass through your body. You're fried to a crispy brown.
- *** You have died ***
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> attack kid
With...
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> attack with amulet
The child dodges your carefully-aimed swing of the amulet's chain, then runs away in fear. He's probably gone to get that burly women.
The runes and the amulet-shaped hole are still there.
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> attack with dagger
The child dodges your dagger, then runs away in fear. He's probably gone to get that burly women.
The runes and the amulet-shaped hole are still there.
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> attack with pan
The child dodges your pan strike, then runs away in fear. He's probably gone to get that burly women.
The runes and the amulet-shaped hole are still there.
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> examine runes
The runes look like this:
| \ / \ / ------- ------- \ / | |
| \ / \ / / / \ / \ /
\ \ / \ / / / \ / \ |-|
| | | / / | |-- |
/ / \ | / / | | /
/ / \ | / / | / |
| / \ | ------ ------- | | /
There is also a brick that sticks out slightly.
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> examine runes
The kid runs off, probably to get the burly women.
The runes look like this:
| \ / \ / ------- ------- \ / | |
| \ / \ / / / \ / \ /
\ \ / \ / / / \ / \ |-|
| | | / / | |-- |
/ / \ | / / | | /
/ / \ | / / | / |
| / \ | ------ ------- | | /
There is also a brick that sticks out slightly.
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan and some necklace beads.
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> wait
You decide to wait. You sit around, watching the dust fall, and doing many other exiting things, when you hear footsteps in the corridor. The door swings open and there is the burly women. You wish something would interrupt that awkward moment, but nothing does.
- *** You have died ***
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> push the brick in
The bricks begin to shift in a miraculous way. They recede, and the opening leads to an infinite blackness.
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> remove brick
The wall collapses on you. You are crushed under a pile of rubble.
- *** You have died ***
Empty Room[edit | edit source]
You are in a whitewashed room in a castle. It is fairly non-descript.
The only exit is down a flight of stairs. There is an arrow slit to the east.
You have a dagger and a small amulet.
A Stairway[edit | edit source]
> down
You are in a deserted kitchen. The door slams shut behind you. The only exit is through a door ahead of you.
You find an old frying pan.
You have a dagger, an amulet and a frying pan.
The Nursery[edit | edit source]
> pronounce xyzzy
Nothing happens.
The Yard[edit | edit source]
> go through door
You open the door to find yourself in a yard. A very burly women is right in front of you. She appears to want her frying pan back.
The Yard[edit | edit source]
> attack grue with dagger
Slaying Grues with small melee weapons is very hard and you haven't yet mastered the art. Guess what happens next...
- *** You have died ***
The Yard[edit | edit source]
> attack grue with necklace
You smash the necklace over the Grue and it dies. It was full of Grue repellent. The Grues are horribly allergic to that stuff. That's why the Grue didn't try to eat the woman. It must have known she had the necklace... somehow.
Speaking of which, the women is regaining consciousness. You'd better get away from here, and fast.
There is a door a few metres in front of you and a door a few metres left of you. There is also the door behind you, leading back into the kitchen.
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan and some necklace beads.
The Yard[edit | edit source]
> attack grue with frying pan
Only the best Grue-slayers can kill a Grue with blunt weapons. Unfortunately, you're not one of them.
- *** You have died ***
The Yard[edit | edit source]
> get eaten
Smart move.
- *** You have been eaten ***
The Yard[edit | edit source]
> attack the women with dagger
You attack the women with the dagger. She somehow manages to disarm you, and picks up the dagger. She thrusts the dagger right into you.
- *** You have died ***
The Yard[edit | edit source]
> calmly explain to women
The women doesn't seem to like your explanation. She punches you silly. You fall to the ground. A Grue notices your vulnerable state, and eats you.
- *** You have died ***
The Yard[edit | edit source]
> attack women with frying pan
You hit the women over the head with the frying pan. She falls to the ground, unconscious, but not dead. She has a rather nice necklace on her neck. Well, I guess it's finders keepers.
As I said earlier, you are in a yard. There appears to be a castle Grue in one corner.
> castle Grue?
A castle Grue, is simply, a Grue that lives in a castle. It is pretty similar to a regular Grue. The Grue sees you, and lurches towards you.
You have a dagger, an amulet, a frying pan and a necklace.
The Yard[edit | edit source]
> go back to the yard
You are in a yard. The burly women has regained consciousness. She isn't too happy about the way you hit her over the head with her own frying pan. She beats you so much that you die.
- *** You have died ***
The Cave[edit | edit source]
> tiptoe forward
You travel deeper into the cave. As you move forward you notice a flickering blue light ahead of you. Looking at the light gives you an eerie sense of nausea.
You can see the light from the entrance far behind you. You keep trudging onwards. You feel like you've eaten a supersized meal at McDonalds and then gone for a spin on the playground equipment. As you get to the light you realise it's a swirling portal into another dimension.
The End[edit | edit source]
> Jump into portal
CONGRATULATIONS
You've come to the end of the demonstration version of the Castle. To find out where the light takes you you will need to purchase the full version of the castle. To purchase a copy simply send your full name, address, credit card details including your CVN, to this address and your full copy of the Castle will be on it's way out to you for only $129.99 USD.
In the meantime, feel free to add a userbox to your profile that says that you've conquered the Castle (Demo version). We haven't created a userbox for you because we're cheap, but please, feel free.
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