Tiger 1-1-1-1 Ausf. B
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The Tiger 1-1-1-1 Ausf. B (also called the Tiger No-No-No-No, or just “why”) is what happens when engineers see a bad idea and decide it needs more effort. It is based on the already questionable Tiger 1-1-1-1, except now everything is heavier, louder, and somehow worse.
Someone probably said something like: “If four guns works, then more everything works more.” —guy who was definitely employed at the time
The tank still functions. No one knows why. It just does.
When all four guns fire, the recoil throws the tank backwards at around 70–85 mph, which is faster than it moves forward, and also faster than it should be allowed to exist.
This was called an “upgrade.”
History[edit | edit source]
After the original version, engineers decided the main issue was that it didn’t cause enough problems.
So they fixed that.
Development happened sometime around WWII, or after, or before. Depends who you ask. Dates stopped mattering at some point.
Testing went about as expected:
- Tank moved backwards more than forwards
- Turret turning caused things nearby to shake
- One crew reportedly “understood everything” and then quit
Most records are gone. Either destroyed, lost, or refused to be written.
Armour[edit | edit source]
Armour was increased because clearly that would help.
- 300 mm front
- extra 150 mm behind that
- random plates added wherever there was space
Everything is armored. Even things that don’t need it.
It is basically immune to:
- AP rounds
- HESH rounds
- criticism
This is due to:
- German steel
- confidence
- people insisting it’s fine
Firepower[edit | edit source]
Still has four 8.8 cm guns. Still arranged in a square. Still a mistake.
Changes include:
- faster firing
- more recoil
- less control
Ammunition is still whatever they felt like that day.
It can penetrate:
- tanks
- buildings
- ground
- probably itself if given the chance
Reports[edit | edit source]
Things crew members have said:
“I saw something I can’t explain.”
“We moved again. Backwards.”
“I don’t think we are where we were.”
“It fired once and now we are somewhere else.”
Specifications[edit | edit source]
Numbers exist but don’t help.
Weight: 45 tons (more if you count everything else) Length: yes Height: too much Width: still four guns wide
Engine: same one, worse situation Horsepower: 650 (feels like less forward, way more backward)
Speed:
- Forward: 18 mph
- Backward: ~85 mph (when firing)
- Sideways: not intended, still happens
Range depends on how far it throws itself.
Crew[edit | edit source]
Commander
Gunner Gunner Gunner Gunner
Loader Loader Loader Loader
Driver Driver Backup Driver
Emotional Support German Another one
Design Flaws[edit | edit source]
There are several.
Recoil Firing all guns causes:
- rapid backwards movement
- occasional airtime
- loss of control
Structure Sometimes parts come loose. Tank keeps going anyway.
Turret Turning it may:
- stall the engine
- rotate the whole tank
- feel wrong
Heat Guns overheat. A lot.
Fixes include:
- more metal
- hoping
Production[edit | edit source]
Hard to build.
Needed:
- more materials
- more workers
- more shouting
Each one took hundreds of people and at least one guy questioning his life choices.
Only a couple were finished before one reversed into something important and that was enough of that.
Combat Usage[edit | edit source]
Used in:
- multiple fronts
- places it shouldn’t be
- at least one unknown location
It was used for:
- everything
- too much
In one case it:
- destroyed targets
- damaged surroundings
- removed itself from the area
Crew Complaints[edit | edit source]
“Too loud” “Too much recoil” “We are moving again” “I would like to leave”
One report just said:
“No.”
Maintenance[edit | edit source]
Takes longer than using it.
Gun:
- constant fixing
- realigning
Engine:
- maintenance
- stress
Turret:
- repairs
- adjustments
Manual basically says don’t fire it unless you really feel like it.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
Called “Absolute Disaster” unofficially. Moves backwards better than forwards. Not allowed in several places. Some people pretend it never existed.
References[edit | edit source]
- Klaus said so
- probably real
- trust me
