Talk:The Jesus Laws
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Woo! Love the changes. --Andorin Kato 22:19, 29 May 2007 (UTC)
From Pee Review[edit source]
The Jesus Laws[edit source]
Yeah!
Only one edit! I did it all in one edit!
Nevermind...
Soo...Review this please.
Thanks.
so sayeth Sliferjam ~ Talk * Sock * Jam * Gallery * Fearless Fosdick? 22:23, 25 May 2007 (UTC)
Humour: | 8 | Many very funny moments here. It isn't overlong, and it's satirical without being so offensive that it would drive people away. |
Concept: | 9 | It's a hilarious idea, and it is executed very well |
Prose and formatting: | 10 | No complaints here. |
Images: | 7 | They compliment the article well, but there are no laugh-out-loud funny pictures. The addition of captions might help in that area. |
Miscellaneous: | 6 | I think the section about Lazarus is the weakest here. It isn't terrible, but it seems like a less funny repeat of the section before it. |
Final Score: | 40 | A very enjoyable article |
Reviewer: | --THE 00:57, 26 May 2007 (UTC) |
Humour: | 9 | I'm drawn to the whole "Jesus just isn't who he used to be" idea, plus the idea of the gov't cracking down on divine policy. Seems like it was inspired by Limitations of Superpowers as Applies to God, but that's okay. |
Concept: | 9 | See above. |
Prose and formatting: | 9 | I had to make a few adjustments, and it probably isn't absolutely perfect, but it's damn close. |
Images: | 9 | You've got the right images for each section. They looked like they were crowding the miracles section, so I removed one and moved a couple around. You may want captions if they don't end up messing with the spacing. |
Miscellaneous: | 8 | Not much to say here that hasn't already been said. |
Final Score: | 44 | Congrats on a successful Jesus article. You don't see a lot of those nowadays. |
Reviewer: | --Andorin Kato 00:10, 28 May 2007 (UTC) |
Humour: | 7 | Pretty funny throughout. Good joke density, but I thought the delivery was a little dry at times. For this type of article, you have to deliver big yet subtle. It kept me reading, though. (That, and the deal we made.) |
Concept: | 9 | Excellent concept. I think it's a humourous parody on the growing feelings of materialism in the modern world. |
Prose and formatting: | 8 | Good grammar and spelling, but back to what I said about delivery. It's very important that you structure your phrases right. Readers don't want to struggle to understand some of the more complicated phrases. Avoid short sentences. And the passive tense is to be kept to a minimum. |
Images: | 7 | The images were appropriate and well-suited to the article. I would, however, like to see more humour from the actual pictures, though, as opposed to relying on them as filler for your paragraphs. |
Miscellaneous: | 6 | The weakest part of your article, I think, is presentation/organization. It starts off as a typical Uncyclopedia article, then leaves off as a letter¿ Also, the title and introduction seem to suggest actual laws, but the article never talked about laws after that. I would suggest to either change the title, or add a proposal for regulations at the end of every paragraph or so. |
Final Score: | 37 | I agree with Andorin; considering all the usual Jesus articles, this is an outlier. In a very good way. |
Reviewer: | --Señor DiZtheGreat CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 19:43, 28 May 2007 (UTC) |