Sylvester Stalone

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the Sylvester Stalone...
...article of Uncyclopedia!

And a special main event of the evening...
...10 rounds of heavyweight excitement...

...hosted by the Uncyclomedia non-profitable organization.

And when the bell rings, the referee in charge of the action, Marlon Brando.
And now, for the thousands in attendance...
...and the millions watching around the world, ladies and gentlemen...
...let's get ready to rumble!

Introducing first,
fighting out of the blue corner...
...wearing red with gold,
unofficial weight, 217 Oscars.
His professional record, 5 skins
not including Catherine Martin...
...with Bon Jovi haircut and one dog.
He is the acting pride
of Silence of the Lambs...
...the all-time favorite horror
character of the world...
..."The Iron Sulfide"...
...Buffalo...
...Bill!

Across the ring,
fighting out of the red corner...
...wearing pink with blue,
unofficial weight, 221 Oscars.
She has a perfect record,
consisting of stealing the show...
...from Jack Nicholson,
playing a psychopath.
Originally from Ireland...
...but now hailing out
of As Good as It Gets...
...the reigning undisputed,
undefeated...
...best character
in the world...
...Beverly "Carol's Mom"...
...Connelly!

Bill punches Beverly and throws her into the well. Beverly wakes up, looks up at Bill and says to him, "everybody wants a woman suit, dear. It doesn't exist".

Ladies and gentlemen, before we go to the scorecards...
...a round of applause for these two heavyweight characters!
We have a split decision.
Clint Eastwood scores it 95-94...
...Beverly.
Al Pacino has it 95-94...
...Bill.
And Robert DeNiro scores it 95-94...
...for the loser by split decision,
and still undefeated...
...worst character in the world...
..."Holocaust Bill" Poland!