Seven And A Half Hours Of Silence
|Seven and A Half Hours of Silence|
|Single by Paul McCartney|
|Released||September of 1970|
|Recorded:||July of 1970|
|Larry King review||7/10 - "Really just what America needs."|
|Paul McCartney Singles|
|My Long, Hard Dick
|Seven And A Half Hours Of Silence
|My Wonderful Wife|
“Its about time Paul shut up a bit.”
“I love it! You can take it from me; you know my talent in writing music.”
“I still think just one solo would have done it good.”
“The best thing i've ever made outside of The Beatles.”
Seven and A Half Hours of Silence is a 1970 album-long single by Sir Paul "Dinklewank" Mccartney, which reached considerable success at the time. It is characterized by the lack of any sound emanating from the speakers when it is put on. Many critics called it "very McCartney", stating that it resembled many of McCartney's earlier Beatle work.
The single gained much attention from groups of people with no life; they stated that the single was a milestone in both musical and recording techniques, and praised McCartney for being so darn cute. Others didn't care. The most attention the album received was when John Cage sued McCartney over the single, stating that it was merely a cheap, extended copy of his masterwork, 4'33". The case, however, was dropped, because Paul McCartney is just so darn cute!
Paul's main task was to make sure that absolutely everybody in the studio was silent. This proved difficult, since John was constantly yelling in everybody's ear about how peace was important, George was fiddling with his annoying little sitar that he could barely play, and Ringo was almost always in a drunken stupor, cursing like a sailor. Then, of course, that cheeky little munchkin Paul go the better of them. He devised a plan where, right on the date he had planned recording, there would simultaneously be a peace rally for John to engage in, a boring Eastern seminar for George (yawn), and a large seaside drinking festival for Ringo. This proved easy for Paul, because he's Paul McCartney, man. Then, of course, after all the Beatles had left, George Martin decided it was a good time to start hitting on Paul. You have to give credit to Mr. McCartney. He had a lot to deal with. Eventually, Paul managed to clear the studio of everyone except his engineers, who naturally stayed quiet because of their outcast status in society. Paul, rubbing his palms together mischievously, flipped the recording switch with grandeur, and proceeded to meditate on the silence, bathing in it. During the 7 1/2 hours that Paul sat there, making sure that all the volume was set just right, adjusting the EQ, it is said that he had a very spiritual experience and turned Rastafarian on that day.
The actual bulk of the single was incredible. In fact, many engineers told Paul that he was crazy and should stop the entire thing, because how on earth could a single be 7 1/2 hours long? Some told him that they had always known that he was crazy, and that this project was just an act of insane boredom. Paul, with that famous little grin, brushed that all aside and defied all the odds, forever changing the world of singles, and rising up against a sea of horrors. The final product turned out to be seven and a half hours long. This blew the engineers' minds. "We had no warning, Paul!" they were reported saying. "What kind of warning did you ever give us that this thing would be that long?!" Paul wasn't to be trifled with, however. The engineers did the math, put the fucking thing on twelve discs, and sent it out to the people. Which leads us to...
There were mixed thoughts. John Lennon thought it was terrible, and proceeded to cross-analyze everything wrong with the album. "It's too long!", he whined, proceeding to release a 10-second sound clip of him screwing Yoko as a single. George Harrison thought it was "very Liverpool". George Carlin made fun of it. This made Paul cry, because George Carlin intimidated Paul very much. Paul watched as his new single was bought up, and watched as the money came in.
Rolling Stone Magazine felt obliged to say nice things about the single, since of course it is Rolling Stone's sole duty to continually kiss Paul McCartney's shiny white ass. However, other music magazines and reviewers also gave 7 1/2 hours good things. Paul was interviewed by various old people on various old people talk shows, which gave him much popularity among old people.
Seven and A Half Hours produced nearly £100,000, which tickled Paul quite a bit. He knew that, for once, he had done something of real content. With the Beatle years behind him, he could finally get down to buisness and start working the magic. He went on talk shows numerous times to explain just how much of a task producing the single had been. "You know," Paul had said to Patricia Nixon,"I think that, in the rock and roll world, it's all about making something new, and fresh, and clean. Seven and A Half was certainly new and fresh and clean. That's what makes it magikal." Mrs. Nixon agreed, at the same time suggestively winking and drooling at Mr. McCartney.
In 2005, Paul did what he often does when he gets bored; he opened up his vault and started rummaging around, looking for a few old songs to put into a compilation album. There he stumbled across 7 1/2 Hours. Paul's quick mind knew at once what promise this item would hold if it were to be released in a special edition, glossed-up box set. For some reason people get so worked up when a piece of music is put into a box. The set would not only include the original 7 1/2 Hours piece on CD, but it would contain a 7 1/2 hours [Early Mix], and a "Making Of" DVD. This time, George Carlin did not say anything about Paul's piece, because there is no way you can make fun of a new limited edition box set of something without being subjected to serious scorn.
Cover Image Controversy
Paul decided to turn away from the restrictions of the mainstream music design with 7 1/2 hours, and opted to go minimalist. The front cover presented only a tasteful image of Paul himself in his bedroom, packaging a small novelty spyglass that he planned to give to his young child, Rod Blagojevich. Unfortunately, many consumers just didn't have the true brainpower and insight as most of us, and shunned the cover, for being "pornographic". Paul insisted at later press conferences that, "really, my chest isn't all that beautiful. If anything, wouldn't you all just block out the image of that hairy thing, not look at it?" Ringo then blundered the entire thing by cutting in to say, "actually, Paul's chest is quite beautiful; take it from me." The cover was deemed "unfit for Americans", and a new cover was immediately released.