São Paulo
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This article is of Brazilian style and hates Argentina, it may talk about things like soccer, samba, bananas or Portuguese jokes. You can talk to its authors by searching for them on the Facebook website or in a Tibia server. Be careful, because this content is controlled by the evil television channel Globo. The Squid president welcomes you for a fantastic adventure in a true Brazilian favela while he dances like a crab. |
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“*cough* *cough* What the hell is *cough* this? It's *cough* so... *cough*... hard to breathe... *cough*”
“Hard is my dick! This is the best place where you can be in Brazil!
by the way, in Rio is worse than every place, kkkkkkk”
“WHAT DA FACK? What did you called us???”
São Paulo, or Polluted Paulo, is a city in the state of São Paulo, in Brazil, where millions of northeasterns immigrants and Paulistas living there, do you see that? This is a criminal! Cheating! São Paulo is the most polluted city in the CONTINENT of America, even beating New York City in pollution. Also, São Paulo has one of the highest fucked jammed cities in the world. Also São Paulo is home off bitches and criminals the most things in Brazil like the museums, supermarkets and banks. Also taxes.
History[edit | edit source]
The city of São Paulo was practically uninhabitable habituated by random tribes that was circulating around the Tietê River, or the shittiest thing in the world, then, Portugal discovered this land, that was their mistake and called it "City of São Paulo".
The times of Captaincy of São Vicente[edit | edit source]
São Paulo, was the only place in Brazil that was Jammed since the start, being fucked as usual, the next 2 centuries São Paulo has a small evolution, being abandoned by the leaders of this time, jobless, no population at all (Except the population of the Village of São Bernardo do Campo), and yeah, isolated as usual, but in 1683, is considered the new capital São Paulo (Saint Paul).
The Bandeirantes[edit | edit source]
São Paulo has been fucked, now it becomes more fucked now it is saved by the Bandeirantes, by the Discovery of Gold in Minas Gerais, Portuguese colonists now can afford more movement in this shit , and guess what, in the 1720s the bastards expanded the lands that are pioneers, now known as Cuiabá and Goiânia, expanding beyond the Tordesillas line and breaking the rules in Treaty of Tordesillas to get more gold and that's why that the Spanish considers Portugal Colony a son of a bitch , and a few decades later they bought the Sugar Cane, and they start using it until nowadays Why? but fortunately the sugar was exported through the "Porto of Santos" or basically Port of Santos, the Bandeirantes was too good for São Paulo and bad for us , they created the palace for it.
Imperial Brazil[edit | edit source]
After the Brazilian independence, in 1822, Pedro I named it as a disgrace imperial city. In 1827, they put here the law school in Brazil, the students decreased the economy and they put the school the dirtiest ever. The coffee expansion was the most mistaken thing in São Paulo, causing more slaves and work, putting São Paulo in a hard situation, in 1869 São Paulo finally is connected after centuries, in a Iron street of Santos-Jundiaí, causing the economy growing back (finally) in the state.
And in 1888, the Golden law by Princeza de Isabel, sanctioned, the slaves will be finally free, and in 1889, with the slaves free, they will finally discount after being Pissed off in a long time ago, and then, the end of monarchy.
The Republic[edit | edit source]
In 1889, an alliance made for no reason called coffee-with-milk, being a bad alliance between Minas Gerais and São Paulo, but in the bright side, they are industrialized so well in a quick time cheaters! and at the end of the 19th century they built the Paulist Avenue, in 1924 and 1932 being the best worst time ever in the city.
How they managed to get mocked[edit | edit source]
First off the Pollution, that was so big that when you breath there you are dead! Now the criminality? Simple! Everyday, every hour, every Day, just the same as the country. And yes, in the city, sleeping here is a miracle, because it's too noisy there! who sleeps easily there is a alien .
Second off, the Tietê River, like, the smelliest thing in the world! Why the heck they can do that? And they bet that Rio is worse than this.
And their traffic is so bad, that it even have a googol of roads, all of them jammed with cars, and also trucks.
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Most Populous districts[edit | edit source]
Note:This is a 2010 census, so if you see this, GET THE FUCKING EDITOR AND REWRITE IT! to make this part accurate...
Grajaú[edit | edit source]
This, is the most bullshit populous district in São Paulo, there are pollution, Traffic and +100 favelas! And yeah, its the most popular district in the Subprefecture of "Socorro"
Sapopemba[edit | edit source]
A district from the southeast, the second most polluted populous in São Paulo, also is a new district, elevated to district in 1985, here have the GIANT Bus highway, and a giant station so literally fucked up , and yeah, don't forgot about traffic and pollution.
Brasilândia[edit | edit source]
This? A total bullshit! For the 3rd most populous, this freaking district is not recomended. just kidding There have so MANY things, like the Park of Ibirapuera, the Memorial of Latin America (Now you are questioning WTF IS A LATIN AMERICA MEMORY IN BRAZIL AND NOT IN USA??? this question was asked by a dumb American . And my response is: USA IS NOT IN LATIN AMERICA!! YOU, ARE, DUMB! DUMB! DUUUUUUUMMMMBBBB!!!!!! This response was made by an Asian Teacher ), The aquarium of São Paulo, The 0 mark in there, along with pollution and traffic.
Jardim Ângela[edit | edit source]
An abandoned district in the south, being district in 1960, also pollution and traffic.
Cidade Ademar[edit | edit source]
In 1996, they becomed district, being isolated and abandoned, only rural beings there, but it still has pollution, but no traffic
The "Grand Pix of São Paulo"[edit | edit source]
Every grand pix has something charming except here, it has ironically cool infrastucture and charming things, like bars, the narrator space and other useless things.
But because of the pollution and traffic, it now is extinct and the Grand Pix is now in other place in Brazil
it now becomed worser for tourists visit there, and is entirely dirty.
Is it recommended to visit there?[edit | edit source]
My answer is a solid yes no, it has pollution, traffic, criminality, bitches , stressed people, noisy, traffic jam, trash, not so good parks, plazas and buildings, but for those that are sexy and wants bitches to fuck with to fuck, is a solid yes, every single person is a bitch and you can fuck them.
