Red Stripe Guy

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the red stripe guy with his favorite beverage

“He be from Jamaica mon!”

~ Dave Chapelle on The Red Stripe guy

“Hooray beer!”

~ The Red Stripe Guy on beer


For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Red Stripe Guy.

The Red Stripe Guy was born Bob Duncan Lewis III in a slum of Kingston, Jamaica. his parents looked down upon him as a nuisance from the time of his birth, him being the son of a beggar and a whore and all. but he was soon to show them what he was made of. However there would be setbacks before his meteoric rise to fame and fortune. at the tender age of just six years old he was assulted in an alleyway by a "creepy foot doctor" who had a fetish for licking the feet of young children. The incident leaft a deep impact on the child, and would later influence his creative genious. he was expelled from school, and took to the streets talking in slang, and dealing crack. people "disrespected him in his own show mon" according to his journals.


It was one morning in July 1997 when Bob was "out on the beach boy" with his friends when he first encountered beer. the liquid was appealing, and golden, and amazing. It was to be his life's calling to make everyone aware of this beautiful creation, and to alert all to the possibilities of life with beer. It was golden, gleaming in the morning light through its little brown bottle, when a friend handed it to me there was a calm in the air that day. An aura of fate surrounded it. I took a sip, and layed back blasted into a state of otherworldly ecstacy, and danced in the stars for what fealt like hours from the sheer taste" he said in a later interview. This was to be his first love.


Like so many great artists of his time, he was to fall victim to the savage grip of addiction which was to plague him for the rest of his days. This was to be a positive but dark phase of his life, surrounded by manic depressive episodes, and frequent bar brawls. Life had changed within one year of his brilliant discovery, he would travel from bar to bar, never having enough of this "smashing product". also during this time he had a brief marriage to a recording artist named Rita Sanchez, which would turn out disasterously after a typical drunken wife beating incident common among trailer trash, and slum dwellers.


He became the poster man for Red Stripe in 2005 after a brush with fate in a bar.

His career took off in his amazingly artistic and deep commentary on beer. Not simple to understand his work was subject to criticizm by neighbors, and simpletons. But this did not keep him back, no one could hold down this brave genius. He persevered, and rose to great hieghts. His work was a mixture of Noel Coward-like wordplay, and radical self expression which exploded onto the American culture like Hurricane Katrina. he had the help of his loving Malaysian sun parrot ross to guide him along often engaging in sessions of inspiration with the animal. These sessions included a vat of water and a candle, the parrot would gaze down into the basin, and duncan would gaze at the reflection of its eyes so endowed with the primitive wisdom of the jungle, and run with his visions. The work was and still is one of the greatest artistic achievements of the twenty first century.

Current life[edit]

Duncan still produces work living alone aside from his parrot on a deserted island south of Jamaica. Kings, emperors, and princes travel to this remote place to seek out his council, and infinite wisdom on topics like Lacrosse defense. In his spare time, he also teaches white people to dance.