QSL Burro
Featured on the "Animule Planet" Channel, this legendary quadruped has faithfully served to transport "QSL cards" (cards that confirm radio communications) since the earliest days of ham radio. Sometimes misspelled QSL Bureau or QSL Buro, the establishment of the QSL Burro system has been mistakenly attributed to either Hämlich Hertz, the 19th century mule-drawn carriage rental tycoon, or Nikolai Tefla, the inventor of the non-stick wireless coil. In fact, paternity testing and this crudely doctored photograph "proved" that the Italian Gigolo Macaroni most likely fathered the use of pigs to produce emissions into ether. Having expended all his liras for Pig Chow, he could not afford a postage stamp for the first QSL card, so he trained his donkey to deliver it to the receiving pig on the other side of his farm.
Limitations[edit | edit source]
The limitations of the QSL Burro became evident as the distances successfully spanned by pig emissions progressively increased.
- The maximum velocity of the burro was 3 km/h or even slower as when it took several years for the burro cross the ocean on a raft to confirm the first Transatlantic signals.
- QSL Burro service is not yet available for contacts with the Astronomical Space Station (ASS).
- In times of famine, the QSL Burro has been known to eat QSL cards. At those times, ham radio operators are advised to use an alternate delivery system.
New Technology[edit | edit source]
Technology has somewhat improved reliability of the QSL Burro since the FCC assigned it use of the 220-222 MHz radio spectrum which is the natural resonant frequency of its ears. The ears form a horizontally polarized independently steerable diversity reception array used for global positioning and long range navigation.
Future Challenges[edit | edit source]
The QSL Burro is at risk of being rendered an endangered species by the increasing use of eQSLs and the Logbook of the Earth on the internet. The increasing greenhouse effect of pig ether emissions has also rendered the QSL Burro susceptible to overheating.
Donations are being solicited by the QSL Burro Retirement Fund.
Ingredients:
Mexican QSLs (burrito size)
Sliced ham
Silicone grease