Mortal Kombat Annihilation
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is a 1997 action-comedy-drama film and a spinoff of the 1995 comedy-drama-action film Mortal Kombat, which itself is a spinoff of the popular fighting game franchise Street Fighter. The film derives its name from the German philosophical doctrine of "mortal combat annihilation", which theorizes that in order to effectively resolve violent competitive fights it is absolutely necessary to annihilate one or more of the combatants, or at least mortally wound them. Much of the film's deep and thought-provoking subtext, such as it's musings about the morality and the mortality of combat, is hidden beneath several layers of intentionally bad acting, b movie cliches and cheap special effects, just because.
Annihilation doesn't quite yet answer the age-old mystery of "why do installments in the Mortal Kombat-franchise misspell 'combat' with a 'k'?", as that revelation is saved for further sequels. Instead, the movie's story centers around an intergalactic fighting tournament held between the good guys of the Earthrealm and the bad guys of the Outworld – an epic and complex story line that made critics draw comparisons to the likes of 2001: A Space Odyssey and, surprisingly, all the previous installments of Mortal Kombat. The film made an estimate of 'couple hundred bucks' in box office, which was a huge success considering the film's budget of $100.
This led to the producers of the film to launch a yet another spinoff series, titled the Aortal Kombat, in which the now old and retired cast of Annihilation are pitted against cardiovascular diseases.
A lesser-known production is Mortal Combatant – a story about combatants gathering in a home for the elderly to fight against each other, to prove who suffered more during war.
Plot[edit | edit source]
It's about fight between Earth habitants and Underearth habitants. Shao Kahn, an evil sorcerer from the evil realm of the Outworld, impulsively decides one day to open a portal directly into the good realm of the Earthrealm, while giving next to no fucks about the laws of the universe and the balance of good and evil and all that Zen bullshit. Kahn enters the portal and begins ravaging the Earthrealm with his army of violent misfits. He gave his famous speech: "The Earth was created in six days, so too shall it be destroyed!" pretending like he was a fucking anti-God. After that he adds "and on the seventh day mankind will rest in peace ..." His psychiatrist suggested to increase his daily doses of psychotropic drugs. As usual against the evil comes to fight self-proclaimed "protector of Earthrealm" Raiden along with his bunch of misfits. Earthrealm's warriors were terrified by unexpected opening of the portal, but Raiden calmed them down acting like he was wise, saying "what closes, can also open again" – very fucking useful.
The Outworld is pretty lonely and rubbish like place, it is mostly desert. Even the palace of Shao Kahn looks crappy. They were so jealous of the richness of The Earth that they stole even the Eiffel Tower after attack on The Earth. It didn't change much in the look of the Outworld anyway, it's an ugly place without any sunlight.
Pantheon of Shao Kahn's psychopaths[edit | edit source]
Shao Kahn himself[edit | edit source]
He used to work in porn industry. King of the Outworld. Owner of brothels chain, guns & drugs dealer. In the Outworld land all kinds of weirdos, who do not fit to civilized world. He's really got it made. He bribed prosecutors, and for police he has free entry to his brothels. People say that the guy in untouchable, although Raiden has different opinion about that! He has extremely psychopatic Father Kahn (member of Illuminati), who dictates constant obedience and does not tolerate any failure. Shao always gets mental beatdown from him. For this reason everyone connected to Shao Kahn shits their pants at the thought of failure. The last warrior who returned with bad news was thrown to a ditch with burning oil. This motivated the other to harder training.
Motaro[edit | edit source]
Half-horse-half-human. Mutant, genetic experiment of the Outworld. Massive ass. He kicks everyone's balls with hooves. He feeds on oat. He is useful for travel over long distances. Sheeva milks him. Because of the fact he is a horse, he shits all over the place, the society is fed up of him. There were voices he should be sold, but Shao Kahn replied that he is good in fight, so he stays. Beside that Morato takes care of Outworld's gym. And if someone cannot lift 100 kilos on his chest, he gets smashed by Motaro.
Sheeva[edit | edit source]
Brothel-keeper of the brothels chain of Shao Kahn. German whore ripped in gym, who overdosed steroids which caused additional pair of arms to grow up. She regularly fucks with Motaro horse.
Sindel[edit | edit source]
Furious mistress of Shao Kahn. Extreme bitch. Mother of Kitana. When she saw Kitana last time, she wanted to kill her, because her daughter comes from rape by Motaro. When she gets her mad womb attack, she screams her mouth like paranoid until rocks fall apart.
Scorpion[edit | edit source]
Son of scorpio-man and snake-woman. Probably was created in laboratory. He is obsessed with circus and wild animals, especially scorpios and snakes. Pyromaniac, in the past he burnt entire circus with animals. Doesn't see very well, but is able to throw snakes that will hit you with surprising precision, if you piss him off. He trained Scorpion-Jitsu in mysterious temple Inferno-Lin. Later he even burnt that entire temple. Total psychopath. He has ambition for a better, simple life – he wants to become a gardener, but he is slave of his lord Shao Kahn, who puts him in cage every time he tries to escape. He doesn't tolerate water and so he hates Sub-Zero. Oh, and he never washes himself. He kidnapped Kitana screaming "suckers!!" to some strange place full of whips and latex costumes. She wasn't very happy afterall, the guy is just desperate.
Smoke[edit | edit source]
One of the oldest models of Outworld's robo-inventions. A robot running on Windows 95 and coal. It starts emitting smoke if it stays in one place for too long, so it needs some missions like shopping, cooking, cleaning. However his programming is crappy and since he shot a missile in the kitchen once destroying whole place, he is not allowed in anymore and patrols borders instead. He was once programmed to kill Kitana and Liu Kang, but failed, probably because of poor programming. His programs are written in either whitespace or brainfuck programming languages, so it requires extremely self-hating nerd programmer. Shao Kahn once found such a programmer and imprisoned him to fix Smoke. For developing new software, Shao Kahn simply allowed the programmer to live (not for too long).
Cyrax[edit | edit source]
A newest model of Outworld's robo-warrior. It runs on Windows 10 and batteries. It's Windows is cracked, Shao Kahn doesn't give a fuck about buying software licenses for that shit. It has lots of viruses which can cause Cyrax to self-destroy by explosion in any moment. He is not allowed in Outwould, but sent on far missions and controlled remotely by Windows Remote Desktop and joystick. It needs good internet connection to work. He is used for some suicide missions which normal man wouldn't do even after being harrased by Shao Kahn.
Faceless fools[edit | edit source]
Weak warriors like putty patrol from Power Rangers. Can be easily beat with one hand (and the other one hold in ass)
Pantheon of hesitant psychopaths[edit | edit source]
Sub-zero[edit | edit source]
Born in Siberia. Mother left him on glacier. He was saved by siberian shamans and taken to siberian temple Cold-Lin, where he trained kung-fu from 2 years old. He got transplanted brain from polar bear. He believed a story that he is suppoused to save the world. He is obsessed with closing people in cold store for meat. Some people claim he has unnatural ability to freeze people by touch, but really he just dumps people in freezeners. Wanted by police in few countries. Suffers from schizophrenia, sometimes he works for Shao Kahn, sometimes he works for Raiden. He desperately needs psychotherapy. He hates Scorpion, probably because of him wearing different colour of outfit.
Kitana[edit | edit source]
Officially daughter of Shang Tsung and Sindel, but everyone knows Sindel was raped by Motaro, because she screamed so loud that entire city heard that. Kitana has lived on island since 5000 years. She hasn't got good fucking since 3000 years, this is why she tries to seduce everyone who comes to the island. She has the greatest collection of 10,000 dildos in her secret room. When she saw Liu Kang for the first time, she pissed herself out of excitement. She knows how to fight, she was bored on the island for 5000 years, so she tried whatever she could. Traitor of the Outworld, she secretly supports Liu. She is one of the sanest characters in Mortal Kombat, not really a psychopath, but that's probably because of the collection of dildos that kept her sane.
Pantheon of Raiden's psychopaths[edit | edit source]
Raiden himself[edit | edit source]
He steals electricity from power stations. When someone plays on his nerves, he electrocutes him. Self-proclaimed "Protector of Earthrealm". He has good connections in politics, he's got it made. Apparently he sees dead and has contact with so called Elder Gods. Probably takes some heavier drugs, although he makes himself look like a Shaolin Monk. People who mess up with him die in mysterious circumstances or land in a psychiatric hospital. He has contact with aliens.
Having picture of someone mighty, his self-confidence rather diminishes when many Outworld creatures come to Earthrealm. Then he says that his powers given by gods no longer work so well, but the reality is that he shits his pants when it comes to fight with Shao Kahn and so he prefers to hide behind other, Sonya for example. He attacks people suddenly shouting "ayabayayaa!!!". Married 18 times. Most of his ex-wives got burnt because of high voltage electric current. He claims those were accidents.
Liu Kang[edit | edit source]
He doesn't give a shit at all about fate of Earthrealm, he would rather eat chips and watch porn in TV all day long, but Raiden commanded him to train, because his role is to save the damn world. His mother was thai slut, and father was US soldier. Since he trains more, he got attention of Shang Tsung's daughter – Kitana, who hasn't got a good shag for 3000 years. Since that time he constantly either trains or thrusts Kitana. Maybe he will save the Earthrealm.
Sonya[edit | edit source]
Typical bitch from Russia, has complicated past. She travelled to USA to become a police bitch policewoman, but later she landed in Shao Kahn's brothel. She escaped from there and finally landed in Raiden's troops to do blowjobs fight for the fate of the Earthrealm. She can't fight really well, but if you stare at her breasts (she wears no bra), you will get kick on your face. She trusts no one, she was fucked betrayed too many times. She has a tendency to always get in trouble.
Johny Cage[edit | edit source]
When he was a child, he was kept in a cage – this is why Cage is his last name. Megalomaniac, kisses mirror all day long. Works in Hollywood, he is a hardcore and he has 4 certificates for that! He plays in movies and he can imitate partial arts pretty well. In reality if there is danger, he run as fast as hell. He buys increasingly more expensive sunglasses to make impression on ladies from Hollywood. He tried to have sex with Sonya, but he got kick in his face. He brought lots of suitcases with different clothes, but he lost them somewhere when he got drunk. In an act of desperation he tried to save Sonya from Shao Kahn which resulted very badly for him.
Jax[edit | edit source]
Jax always wanted to join the US troops, but was tragically not allowed in because of his weak arms that were the result of his history of working in the IT field. For this reason he got cybernetic implants for his arms, however in order to save some money he bought cheaper parts from China that keep breaking apart after every 5-or-so punches. The batteries are also faulty, meaning he must almost constantly keep re-charging his arms, which often draws out his fight sequences for several hours and bores the audience to death. A 2003 "director's cut"-edition of the film has an infamous added scene in which Jax's mechanic arms shut down in the middle of a fight and so he has to charge them for 7 hours and 36 minutes before resuming the fight, while throwing out mostly improvised one-liners at the bad guys and asking the director for a lunch break every now and then.
Jax also suffers from erectile dysfunction, which is often referenced in the movie for unknown reasons.