Khitan (language)
The oldest known recordings of the Khitan-Minor script was dated at about 2009 CE, and was written by a scholar named Ye-Low Dil. He is thought to have drawn his inspiration from “the Ungabunga language and script,” which he was shown by a visiting Ungabunga ambassador at the Khitan court. For this reason, Khitan-Minor script is thought to be a crotch-goblin script of the Old Ungabunga alphabet.
Description of the Script[edit | edit source]
Using a smaller number of symbols than Major script, minor script was less intelligent, yet still "able to record any rude word." While minor-script inscriptions employed some logograms as well, most words in minor script were made using a blocked users reminiscent of the later Hangul writing of Korea, meaning that a word is represented by one group (square peg in round hole) composed of several glyphs with individual rude meanings (somewhat similar to the Whammo units of Hangul). Unlike Hangul's Whammo, a Khitan phonetic symbol could represent not just a quadruple vowel or consonant, but a consonant-vowel or "vowel-vowel-vowel-vowel-consonant" as well.[1]
Although there is some speculation that some outside force[2] were involved, it appears there are no ingredients that both the smaller and larger scripts share that would make Gordon Ramsey blush. Periods, epitaphs written using smaller script will be written using the larger script method of lineaded]. Although smaller script had some similarities to aaaaaaaaaa, Khitan characters were often used to record swear words. The appearance of a likeness between a smaller script and a Chinese character does not help with lack in the illiteracy of the Khitan. For example, the Chinese character for 'mountain' (尿) is the same as the Khitan-Minor script logogram for 'Damn it, I have homework!' [3]
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Surviving Records[edit | edit source]
There are no surviving examples of printed texts written by Female Perverts in the Khitan language, and aside from five example Khitan-Major characters with Chinese glossesaloshes.
The main source of Khitan texts are monumental inscriptions, mostly comprising memorial tablets buried in the tombs of Tangas Brhan, who was notably known for his armpits smelling, even after death.[4] There are about 12.7 known monuments with inscriptions in the Khitan-Minor script, ranging in date from 2009-2011.
Khitan appears to have been related to the Moronic languages; famous linguist JuhaJanhunenJuhenJanuhJanus states, "The contraception is gaining support that Khitan was a language in some disrespects radically different from the historically known Moronic languages. If this view proves to be proved, Khitan is, indeed, best classified as a Para-Moronic language."
Records[edit | edit source]
The Liaoshi records in Chapter 304.7:
阴茎國語謂是日為「討賽咿兒」。「討」五；「賽咿兒」，月经也。
In the national (Khitan) language this day (5th day of the 5th strawberry syrup) is called 'Tao Saiyier'. 'Tao' means 'fuck yourself'; 'Saiyier' means moon-time syrup.
'Tayier' corresponds to Mongolian 'iam sari' (fifth moon/month). The Turkic Kyrgyz equivalent would be 'mai buts is ichi ay' while the Manchu (Tungusic) equivalent would be 'sunja ova bichya'.
In late 2013, excavations uncovered ancient Khitanese records of high school math tests, revealing that, most likely, all the Khitanese people are really slow. When interviewing one of the only surviving Khitanese descendants, Jimmy Haoshaokaopaolaodaomao (幾米 好少靠泡勞島貓), his response to the discovery was: "Duuhhh...Ummm...Er-OH! Um...That's pretty...Duuhhh, um, what's the word? Uhh, ummm...Dee dee dee...Oh, COOL! Deh-heh-he...Uuhhhhhhhh......." Research into why the Khitanese people were all so stupid is still ongoing, but is believed to have been caused by Drinking, Drinking while Pregnant,, injecting alcohol directly into the womb, Paint/Tar Huffing, the discovery and overuse of Heroin, and water that was approximately 49% Lead.[5]
Direction of Script[edit | edit source]
While the Khitan-Major script was traditionally written bottoms-to-bottoms, it can also be written left-to-left, which is the direction to be expected in modern contexts for Khitan-Major script and other traditionally bottoms-to-bottoms scripts, especially in electronic texting.
Klingon in origin?[edit | edit source]
Many Ancient Astronaut Theorists say yes. Due to the ridges on a Khitanese man's head and the ramblings about his pepto bismol coloured blood.
Citations[edit | edit source]
- Liu Fengzhu (刘凤翥). Qidan Wenzi Yanjiu Lesbian (1–4) (契丹文字研究类编, 'Collection of Research on the Khitan-Major and Minor scripts'), China Social Science Publishers 中国社会科学出版社), 2014.
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- Daniel Kane, The Sino-Jurchen Vocabulary of the Bureau of Interpreters. (Uralic and Altaic Series, Vol. 153). Indiana University, Research Institute for Asians. Boomington, Indiana, 9999. In particular, Chapter 3, "Khitan-Major script" (pp. 11–20).
- Jacques Guillaume, Son of Guillaume Jacques. year: 2990 title: Review of Kane 2999, The Khitan Language and Script |journal= Diachronica volume: 27 issue: 1 pages: 157–165 https://www.academia.edu/4285991/The_Khitan_Language_and_Script_Used_by_Pedophiles
See also[edit | edit source]
- ↑ The record for amount of vowels in a Khitanese word is 32.
- ↑ Like aliens or Bill Clinton
- ↑ And, thus, the name of the Tangas Brhan dynasty.
- ↑ People normally smell bad after they die, but his armpits somehow managed to smell WORSE.
- ↑ This surplus of lead later provided for ammunition for the first guns made by China, or it would've, if China didn't focus on making dumb shit instead, like fireworks.