How to:Be on the Same Continent as Jordan Peterson

Everyone's favourite classic British liberal Doctor Jordan Burnt Peterson

His Eternal Glory And Magicness Clinical Psychologist Doctor Jordan B. Peterson is truly a remarkable man, and there are loads of online guides about how to do things like he does. Guides on how to debate like him, how to speak like him, how to have the same mannerisms as him. So I thought it would be good to create a guide that will explain, in detail, how to be on the same continent as Jordan Peterson.

The location of Peterson

North America, with Canada in red, the colour of communism. Luckily, Jordan Peterson is far more intelligent than the brainless commies that inhabit this strange, dangerous land.

Doctor Jordan B. Peterson resides in Canada, a large country to the north of a country called the United States of America, which is located above another country called Mexico. Canada is located on a continent called North America, which is located above another continent called South America. As they are connected in the middle, some people believe they are actually just one large continent that should be referred to simply by the name ‘America’. Of course, such postmodernist Marxist regressive leftist thinking is dangerous to our society and must be ignored for the good of our strong civilisation. Because Canada is in North America, the continent Jordan Peterson lives in is North America.

The methods of getting to the location of Peterson

An aeroplane, the fastest way to get to North America

So how can you exist on the same continent? Well, in order to get to North America, assuming you aren’t already there, which is a lot of people, you’ll need to get there by aeroplane, or a ship. An aeroplane is a large tube full of people with wings attached to the side designed to fly through the sky. It is the fastest method of getting to North America. The other method, going by ship, is much slower; a ship is a large boat, a boat being a large vessel that floats on water, designed to sail across the seas and oceans of the world. People living before the mid-20th century could use only ships to get to North America, where they would visit the inquisitive Doctor Jordan B. Peterson when he was a young man. When he was a child, around the time of the Late-Triassic period when the earth was covered in sand and dinosaurs roamed it, people couldn’t even use ships as they hadn’t been invented yet. Actually, it was impossible for people to see him at all, because humans didn’t exist yet in the Late-Triassic. (Doctor Jordan B. Peterson predates homo sapiens) In the modern age, however, it is practical to go there in an aeroplane. In order to do this you must go to the nearest airport to where you live. An airport is a large place from which aeroplanes arrive and depart from. You will need a ticket to North America; this is bought on the internet. As always, be careful when browsing the web so as to avoid the seething pit of feminist Marxist leftist woke regressive matriarchal socialist inferno that poisons our public consciousness. Assuming you have your ticket with you and you are at the airport, you must board your flight. You have to find the terminal containing your flight, the number of which is inscribed on the ticket, and when the time has come for you to board you and the other passengers must enter the plane. You must now find your seat, hopefully not finding yourself sitting next to a female feminazi social justice warrior intent on destroying Western Civilisation, sit down, wait for the plane to depart, and when it reaches North America, you leave the plane, leave the airport, and well done, you are now on the same continent as Jordan Peterson! Exactly where you land is a matter of choice; you could be in Canada, the USA, Mexico, somewhere in Central America, or even on an island like Hawaii, Puerto Rico, or Greenland. In any case, you should be proud of your achievement.

Closing things that are tangentially related to Peterson

Once that’s done you can go on other endeavours; if you travel to the continent of Asia you will be on the same continent as the country of Jordan, and by travelling to the United States, also in North America, you can be in the same country as a man whose wife is a doctor. I personally live in the same continent as a different Jordan, Jordan Shanks, so frankly, I couldn’t give a shit.