Jesse Fish
Jesse Fish is a fat dude who is the leader of the cult of Emo, an infamous rapist, and a war criminal. He was born in 1990, became sterile at 9, and created the cult of Emo, which lead to the collapse of the UN.
biography idk[edit | edit source]
Early Life[edit | edit source]
He was born to a family of mentally retarded people who thought a suicide cult would be "an amazing feat". at the age 12, he decided to make it happen. The cult contained Cuban exiles, Al-Qaeda and Taliban rejects, and the ghost of Adolf Hitler. During this time, many of the cultists had an appearance of short, funny looking hair with bangs cut high on the forehead, thick eyeliner, and clothes meant for girls. Another thing to note is that they now have facial deformities from the magic eyeliner they used.
The next year, he created Emo TV, a TV Channel for whiny kids from 14-18.
The 1st Accident[edit | edit source]
In 2005, Fish suffered a heart attack by watching Doraemon and masturbating to Shizuka Minamoto. He then fell down the stairs, and plummeted. The consequences were disastrous, he broke all his bones and his hip was never found. He had to keep the plastering on for two years, being consequently idle and extraordinarily fat. He later recovered, albeit more of an asshole.
Downfall of Emo TV[edit | edit source]
In 2007, Emo TV got sued by Viacom for stealing their IPs. It lost 9,325 USD, and the channel was sold to Gerard Way. Then, 1 month later, All mentions of the copyrighted programs were eradicated off the internet. Except that viral Emo Spongebob image. They didn't take that one down for some reason.
Raping of Amy Rose[edit | edit source]
During the summer of 2008, 3 hedgehogs, Sonic, Shadow and Silver, were on trial. It was believed that they were involved in the surprise sex and kidnapping of recent rape victim Amy Rose. Shadow pleaded not guilty quoting "I wouldn't touch that [Amy] with a thirty nine and a half foot pole." It was later revealed to be Fish, who acted alone in the rape and kidnapping of Amy Rose. After the charges, he later went into hiding in the The Ineffable Australian File Cabinet of Unquestionably Impending Doom for until 2010, when most of the cult was (fortunately) institutionalized. Meanwhile, Emo TV played the Kung-Fu Creatures on the Rampage trilogy on every single movie night for 1 year.
The Dark Revival[edit | edit source]
The cult came back into existence after the Asylum Hacks of 2022, when 8675309 of it's members escaped worldwide, with aid of some "Jake Bateman" guy. I wonder who that is. Around this time, he made a strip club/Chuck E. Cheese knock off in Saudi Arabia known as Happy Cheese.
Where is he now?[edit | edit source]
He now lives in the mansion of Emoness, where he will spread the propaganda that builds up the core values of the cult of Emo. It is unknown where the mansion is.
The Future[edit | edit source]
Demise[edit | edit source]
The Prophet Abhigya Anand states, when most of the Emos are reverted to normal, Jesse Fish will be on a plane to New York to go commit terrorism, when suddenly the plane will start to drop thousands of feet in the air. This is due the pilot smoking 9 different cigars of marijuana, and becoming extremely high. Jesse, in one final villainous move decides to get up to the cockpit and attempts to crash the plane into The Capitol to make an even worse terrorist attack but accidentally pushes the wrong button and sends the plane hurdling into none other than Bakersfield, CA, then realizing it is the end for him. In one final moment, he will sing “Erika” before ultimately crashing into the Whiny Emo Band Reunion Tour, causing a disaster. Fish later will wake up in hell, where he will be left to rot forever as people celebrate "The Emos Are Finally Fucking Gone Day", and any remaining emo garage bands will completely forget about emo music, because they will have no one left to imitate. Once this is done, the war on emos will be finished, and the world will be completely perfect.
What's Next?[edit | edit source]
As mentioned before, the world will be completely perfect. There will be no crime, no porn, no war, and everyone will be happy and healthy. There will be absolutely no need for further violence, and the people of Earth will have joined hands in unison because they all see each other as equals. The world will be green and unpolluted. Bunnies will hop merrily through the meadows, as puppies frolic in the daisies. Long story short, society will live happily ever after.