Geopolitics
Geopolitics is the protagonist in Geopolitics and the Three Global Affairs, a book written by Sir Conan Doyle of the Royal Geographical Society for children who wanted to learn the effects of Earth's geography on politics and international relations through means of time and space. The book was a tremendous success with at least 2 million copies being sold per minute in its best days. It even has its own crappy rip-off, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, that teachs bratty kids they are entitled to have the most perfect things the world could offer through robbing grizzly bear households.
The story introduces Geopolitics, a girl who is meandering around the planet and tries to find the perfect place with the ideal geographical circumstances for the security and stability of her territory. At the end, she dies of global warming.
The story has had a tremendous impact on society as we know it today in a very similar way to the New Testament in Christianity: not everybody knows about it, but everybody across the globe knows at least one aspect of the story that in turn influences their behavior without them even knowing about it. Those who are aware of its tremendous cultural impact are the most intelligent beings to inhabit the universe by far, always knowing how to be "fair" and giving every actor on the international stage an excuse for the shit they have been doing for the past 500 years or so. However, nobody cares about those people because they're just globalist nerds who want to start a worldwide communist revolution.
Character geography biography[edit | edit source]
Geopolyticks LeStrange Douglas Todd Stanley was born as an experiment in a remote lab in Hannah, Montana, to a bunch of nerdy geographers paid by the National Geographic Society to combine the elements of physical landscape, space, place, context, politics and culture with the genetic prototypes of Miley Cyrus in a test tube and then cook it on high in the microwave for 12 minutes and 9 seconds mississippi, after which she popped into existence as the most beautiful baby the world had ever seen.
The geographers loved their new creation, but they really started to analyze her once she hit puberty. After years of intently studying her outer edges, they believed it was finally time for them to "get serious" by diving deep into Geopolitics and studying her human geography super hard as to figure out how man's relationship with Geopolitics determined the fertility rate. Geopolitics wouldn't let them for some stupid reason, so the geographers were forced to make theories about her instead, and a lot of them turned out to be stupid, especially environmental determinism one that made no fucking sense.
Geopolitics went to school in Helena, Montana. During her days in grade school, she was was only super popular among the nerdy kids. The cool kids, however, thought she was boring, and many weren't even interested in learning anything about her. It was only in high school and especially college when people really started to get interested in her. People watched her in awe to see what she was up to so they could record their observations and make educated guesses about her personality.
After constantly being sent to different colleges as far from Harvard all the way to Oxford all the way back to Notre Dame all until eventually ending up at the University of Sydney so that she could be pursued by a bunch of virgin geographers who just couldn't get enough of her for their "studies", she decided enough was enough. One day, she just kinda felt like runnin' away, so she ran and she ran across various geographical and cultural landscapes of the Earth before eventually finding herself in a confined geographical space in which she could pursue her own personal interests. This sets the spacial context for the story of Geopolitics and her amazing adventures.
Story[edit | edit source]
Uncle Sam, Mother Russia and China the Sleeping Giant.
One morning, the world was getting too hot, so the three superpowers decided to go for a frack in the Arctic.
While they were out, a girl called Geopolitics came through the burning trees of the Amazon and discovered their house.
She knocked on the door, and as there was no answer, she pushed it open and went inside.
In front of her was a giant room with 195 or so chairs. However, there were a few in the corner that stood out from the rest.