Forum:I've become an island salesman
So, who wants to buy an island?
Got pots of money? Want an island that's invariably an entire country? No problem, Ilha das Pacas (sorry we can't afford a quicker website with all our millions), just off the coast from Brazil is a 56 square mile giant, and is valued at $10 million. An island steeped in resources and a sweep of lush rainforest, the place is pratically an ecologist's wet dream. Comes with a population, whose lives you can either care for or use for sport. See your home from further away on Google earth. An entire country, sorted.
Have a lot of money for an island? But don't want to feed the people already on it? Not to worry. Robinson Crusoe island is straight from the picture books, rounded by a ring of white beaches, with a jungle at the heart. Complete with wood-and-straw huts (persons evicted, failed to pay $2.7m mortage) so you can pretend you've only just gone and been shipwrecked. Keep up the charade, miss family and friends for seven years and live on insect innards. Daily flyovers just in case. At $5m, it's a steal.
Poor old Auntie Bessie just died? But inherited a million bucks in dog china? Then buy an island. Windward Islands may be adjacent to Canada, but the island itself is paradise. A 1000-ft beachfront and parking for all six of your automobiles. And other things. Price is $895k.
Just won the pools? But not even a millionaire? Tough luck, right? Wrong. Buy an island for just $130k. Long Caye Island is a glory-hole for self-sustenance, not that anyone couldn't sustain themselves with over a 100 grand. What a 1989 Honda Accord is doing there, God only knows.
Want to keep the costs down completely? Want to avoid the website above that takes an age to load? No problem, I'll make an artificial island for you. Basically we go to a part of the earth that's nothing but water and pile a load of rocks down (free), one by one, until there is enough rocks to form an area big enough to fit a sunbed. Costs a fiver. Your cheap holiday, sorted.
Want an island for free? Go away.
Next week, railway infrastructures. -- 22:33, June 24, 2010 (UTC)
- tl;dr. Does "island salesman" mean you sell islands, or you're a salesman located on an island? <insert name here> <(^_^<) or something like that 20:46, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
- I sent a message inquiring about the 56 sqaure mile big island, offering my worldly goods of £3.19 with offer of haggle. My plan was to donate the island to the local poor. I got a response saying "I raise you five pounds, you're out". I said it was daylight robbery, but it's a deal. Only then I was told to "go away". Can anyone, willing to bother, inquire about Ilha das Pacas please? It doesn't take a second, aside from the slowness. You only need a name, email and a message. Represent someone or yourself, or whatever. -- 21:56, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
- No thanks, but I like to buy your mother ;)--
Director
WILL
YOU 333 02:35, June 26, 2010 (UTC)
- His mother is bigger than an island too. LOL. --EMC [TALK] 02:39 Jun 26 2010
- Then it must be a really small island! You just got UNBURNED! <insert name here> <(^_^<) or something like that 03:20, June 26, 2010 (UTC)
- His mother is bigger than an island too. LOL. --EMC [TALK] 02:39 Jun 26 2010
- No thanks, but I like to buy your mother ;)--
- I sent a message inquiring about the 56 sqaure mile big island, offering my worldly goods of £3.19 with offer of haggle. My plan was to donate the island to the local poor. I got a response saying "I raise you five pounds, you're out". I said it was daylight robbery, but it's a deal. Only then I was told to "go away". Can anyone, willing to bother, inquire about Ilha das Pacas please? It doesn't take a second, aside from the slowness. You only need a name, email and a message. Represent someone or yourself, or whatever. -- 21:56, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
