Exploding Cigar
“My collection grows...”
The Exploding Cigar is exactly what it goddamn sounds like, dweebazoid. Voted #3 on the Awesome Weapons Index (and #17 in the World Prank Catalog), the Exploding Cigar is less like a grenade and more like a cigar that explodes.
History[edit | edit source]
The Exploding Cigar started out as a cool prank for old men to trigger their friends' PTSD meltdowns, but the design was quickly taken by the Shadow Government to turn into a more radical device with the capability to blow up innocent world leaders. Not cool.
The most widely known use of the exploding cigar is against Alex Jones in a failed targeting by the Evil Illuminati Adolf Hitler Clone Society, leading to the Society War of 2004. However, what the feds don't want you to know is that the Liberals have also tried to assassinate unassuming and helpless world leaders such as Fidel Castor, JFK, and probably a few others that not even I know about.
How it Works[edit | edit source]
A small chemical explosive charge is built in near where the cigar is lit, exploding it when exposed to the heat of the fire. In its original prank variety, the produced effect would be the black tobacco residue spraying onto the victim and forcing them into blackface. However, the modifications made by the Shadow Government would end with an impact similar to dynamite, as well as the corpse being forced into blackface.
In Superstition[edit | edit source]
Disclaimer- None of these beliefs have been confirmed by the Shadow Government or by God.
- In Germanic cultures, it is believed to be good luck if you find an exploding cigar on the ground.
- In parts of Britain, it is rumored that sitting next to someone who is smoking an exploding cigar brings one year of minor inconveniences.
- In some Hindu cultures, exploding cigars are said to heal chakras that have been dropped and cracked.
See Also[edit | edit source]
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