Club for people not welcome in polite society

Club of People Not Welcome in Polite Society
Political ideology	crime pays
Color(s)	No
Country	international
Race	no africans at the moment
Duration	centuries
Motto	Honi soit qui mal y pense
Founder	Marie Antoinette

“I Don’t Want to Belong to Any Club That Will Accept Me as a Member ”

~ Groucho Marx on Club for people not welcome in polite society

The Club of People Not Welcome in Polite Society (CoPnWiPS or cobwebs) is a social grouping of individuals who, had they been subject to UK law would have been convicted of crimes. In addition to being, mostly white collar criminals, membership of the club requires a nomination from two current members of good standing and the application can be vetoed by any existing member. Being convicted of a crime would immediately void the membership status;

“ Actually we have to keep up appearances, if Rody actually does not have the good grace to die before he's convicted we will certainly expel him and the same goes for Quibelboy already ”

— Imelda Marcos, on the ICC

While membership exploded after the discovery of social media the club has been active since the late 18th century. Historical members included Nathan Bedford Forrest, Muhammad ibn Abd al-Wahhab, Mother Theresa, Silvio Berlusconi and chairman Mao. The club's aim is to provide an alternative social peer group and social calendar to individuals who would never receive a dinner party invitation from an non Arab or Russian inhabitant of Chelsea.

Leadership

The club's leadership is voted for every four years. Criteria for eligibility are that their seniority needs to be at least of ministerial level. The current leadership team is;

• President: Tamim Thani
• Vice President: Serdar Gurbangulyýewiç Berdimuhamedow
• Secretary: Nancy Pelosi
• Treasurer: Victor Orban
• Honorary Chairperson: Imelda Marcos

Social Calendar

Mixing business with pleasure, Marcos and Thani doing some light slave trading during a cobwebs gathering

The society organizes many activities for its members. Due to the fact that quite a few of them are sought by the ICC most of these activities take place in non ICC member states, such as the USA, Qatar or Turkmenistan. However there are a few events in the first world that also always attract an unusually large number of cobwebs, these are among others;

• Bull fighting
• Chelsea Dinner parties organized by Russian oligarchs
• Big game hunting
• Formula 1
• Recruiting and HR

Mar A Lago is known as the informal headquarters of the cobwebs even though governor Trump of South Alberta is increasingly shunned by the upper ranks of the club for his unrelenting courting of the English Royal King.
Another hotbed of vulgarity and cobwebs is the four seasons hotel in Doha which hosts most of the societies activities associated with terrorism, prostitution, management consulting and inbreeding.

Controversy

Currently there is an informal ban on African members since corruption in the continent is so widespread that every politician would be de facto eligible for membership. A similar ban is under consideration for the Philippines and American hip hop artists. Sara Duterte has denounced this possible ban as Islamophobic and Racist.

“ is it because I'm black? ”

~ Sara Duterte on membership

Prominent Members

Not all members of the club are transparent about their membership and the list below is not complete.

Many cobwebs can be found in senates

Caption text

Name	Role	Country	Crime	Reason why not in jail	Comment	Prosecution Status
Tamim Thani	Qing	Qatar	Slavery Discrimination Fraud Bigamy Vulgarity	Protected by regime	Runs a country that makes a mockery of all that is good	In 20 years Qatar's gas will run out and the spoilt yokels will rebel and eat their ruling class before turning onto themselves
Mohamed Maktoum	Emir	United Arab Emirates	Wife Beater Bigamy	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Arron Banks	Business Man	United Kingdom	SLAPP Undermining Democracy Intimidation	Tory Party Donor	Uses wealth to muzzle the free press in the UK	It is a source of great bafflement why this dude is still at large with the Tories out of office
Nancy Pelosi	Senator	USA	Fraud	Class Justice	Has a personal wealth greatly at odds with the income of a US senator	After the revolution
Mitch McConnell	Senator	USA	Fraud	Class Justice	Has a personal wealth greatly at odds with the income of a US senator	After the revolution
Barrack Obama	President	USA	Fraud	Class Justice	Failed to deliver on any of his election promises	-
Donald Trump	Governor	Canada	Undermining democracy Sex offenses Fraud Vulgarity Treason	Class Justice	Governor Trump has been an active KGB plant for decades now	After the revolution
Viktor Orban	Prime Minister	Hungary	Undermining democracy	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Mateusz Morawiecki	Prime Minister	Poland	Undermining democracy	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Rodrigo Duterte	President	Philippines	Murder	Failed state	Example	Currently awaiting trial at the ICC
Sara Duterte	Vice President	Philippines	Corruption	Failed state	Example	Example
Ferdinand Marcos Jr	President	Philippines	Fraud	Failed state	Lied on his CV	Example
Xi Jinping	President	China	Ethic Cleansing	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Vladimir Putin	President	Russia	War Crimes	Protected by Regime	Example	Indicted by the ICC
Victor Lukashenko	President	Belarus	Repression	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Mikheil Kavelashvili	President	Georgia	Undermining democracy	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Prabowo Subianto	President	Indonesia	War Crimes	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Jared Kushner	Senior advisor to the president	USA	Corruption	Class Justice	Example	Example
Oprah Winfrey	Entertainer	USA	fourth degree murder	Protected by Woke	Caused intentional harm by denying vaccines	Example
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.	Secretary of Health	USA	fourth degree murder	Class Justice	Caused intentional harm by denying vaccines	Example
Hanan Mohamed Al Kuwari	Minister of Health	Qatar	ethnic cleansing	Protected by Regime	Caused intentional harm by withholding treatment from migrant laborers	In 20 years Qatar's gas will run out and the spoilt yokels will rebel and eat their ruling class before turning onto themselves
Mohamed Bin Salman	Crown Prince	Saudi Arabia	Murder	Protected by Regime	Jamal Kashoggi	Example
Mohammed bin Abdulrahman bin Jassim bin Jaber Al Thani	Prime Minister	Qatar	Terrorism sponsor	Protected by Regime	Hamas practically lives in his backyard	In 20 years Qatar's gas will run out and the spoilt yokels will rebel and eat their ruling class before turning onto themselves
Narendra Modi	Prime Minister	India	Murder	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Kim Jong Un	Supreme Leader	North Korea	Vulgarity	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif	Prime Minister	Pakistan	Corruption	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Najib Razak	Prime Minister	Malaysia	Corruption	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Sheikh Hasina	Prime Minister	Bangladesh	Corruption	Protected by Regime (India)	Example	Example
Cardi B	Artist	USA	Robbery	Protected by Woke	Example	Example
Kanye West	Artist	USA	Antisemitism	Protected by Woke	Example	Example
Apollo Quiboloy	Senatorial Candidate	Philippines	Rape	Failed State	Impersonated a deity in order to insert his land qruiser in very gullible women	Under Arrest in one of Davao's finest Brothels pending conviction
Eduardo V. Manalo	Church Leader	Philippines	Extortion	Failed State	Runs an organised crime syndicate under the cover of skywizzardism	Avoids prosecution by using controlled votes to blackmail the president. Will be the first against the wall after the revolution.
Raffy Tulfo	Senator	Philippines	Failure to pay child support	Failed State	Example	Example
Benjamin Netanyahu	Prime Minister	Israel	War Crimes	Protected by Regime	Example	Indicted by ICC
Betsy DeVos	Education Minister	USA	Corruption	Class Justice	Abused COVID relief funds to support skywizzardism	-