Club for people not welcome in polite society

Club of People Not Welcome in Polite Society
Political ideology	crime pays
Color(s)	No
Country	international
Race	no africans at the moment
Duration	centuries
Motto	Honi soit qui mal y pense
Founder	Marie Antoinette

“I Don’t Want to Belong to Any Club That Will Accept Me as a Member ”

~ Groucho Marx on Club for people not welcome in polite society

The Club of People Not Welcome in Polite Society (CoPnWiPS or colloquially known as cobwebs) is a social grouping of individuals who, had they been subject to UK law would have been convicted of crimes. In addition to being, mostly white collar criminals, membership of the club requires a nomination from two current members of good standing and the application can be vetoed by any existing member. Being convicted of a crime would immediately void the membership status;

“ Actually we have to keep up appearances, if Rody actually does not have the good grace to die before he's convicted already, we will certainly expel him and the same goes for Quibelboy already ”

— Imelda Marcos, on the ICC

While membership exploded after the discovery of social media the club has been active since the late 18th century. Historical members included Nathan Bedford Forrest, Muhammad ibn Abd al-Wahhab, Mother Theresa, Silvio Berlusconi and chairman Mao. The club's aim is to provide an alternative social peer group and social calendar to individuals who would never receive a dinner party invitation from an non Arab or Russian inhabitant of Chelsea.

Leadership

The club's leadership is voted for every four years. Criteria for eligibility are that their seniority needs to be at least of ministerial level. The current leadership team is;

• President: Tamim Thani
• Vice President: Serdar Gurbangulyýewiç Berdimuhamedow
• Secretary: Nancy Pelosi
• Treasurer: Victor Orban
• Honorary Chairperson: Imelda Marcos

Social Calendar

Mixing business with pleasure, Marcos and Thani doing some light slave trading during a cobwebs gathering

Not all cobweb's are political leaders, some are dentist

The society organizes many activities for its members. Due to the fact that quite a few of them are sought by the ICC most of these activities take place in non ICC member states, such as the USA, Qatar or Turkmenistan. However there are a few events in the first world that also always attract an unusually large number of cobwebs, these are among others;

• Bull fighting
• Chelsea Dinner parties organized by Russian oligarchs
• Big game hunting
• Formula 1
• Recruiting and HR

Mar A Lago is known as the informal headquarters of the cobwebs even though governor Trump of South Alberta is increasingly shunned by the upper ranks of the club for his unrelenting courting of the English Royal King.
Another hotbed of vulgarity and cobwebs is the four seasons hotel in Doha which hosts most of the societies activities associated with terrorism, prostitution, management consulting and inbreeding.

Controversy

Currently there is an informal ban on African members since corruption in the continent is so widespread that every politician would be de facto eligible for membership. A similar ban is under consideration for the Philippine Senate and Governor Trump's entourage. Sara Duterte has denounced this possible ban as Islamophobic and Racist.

“ is it because I'm black, already? ”

~ Sara Duterte on membership

Prominent Members

Not all members of the club are transparent about their membership and the list below is not complete.

Many cobwebs can be found in senates

If your jail sentence was only window-dressing you are still eligible

Prominent active members

Name	Role	Country	Crime	Reason why not in jail	Comment	Prosecution Status
Tamim Thani	Qing	Qatar	Slavery Discrimination Fraud Bigamy Animal Sacrifice Vulgarity	Protected by regime	Runs a country that makes a mockery of all that is good	In 20 years Qatar's gas will run out and the spoilt yokels will rebel and eat their ruling class before turning onto themselves
Mohamed Maktoum	Emir	United Arab Emirates	Wife Beater Bigamy	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Arron Banks	Business Man	United Kingdom	SLAPP Undermining Democracy Intimidation	Tory Party Donor	Uses wealth to muzzle the free press in the UK	It is a source of great bafflement why this dude is still at large with the Tories out of office
Nancy Pelosi	Senator	USA	Graft	Class Justice	Has a personal wealth greatly at odds with the income of a US senator	After the revolution
Mitch McConnell	Senator	USA	Graft	Class Justice	Has a personal wealth greatly at odds with the income of a US senator	After the revolution
Donald Trump	Governor	Canada	Undermining democracy Sex offenses Fraud Vulgarity Treason	Class Justice	Governor Trump has been an active KGB plant for decades now	After the revolution
Viktor Orban	Prime Minister	Hungary	Undermining democracy	Protected by Regime	funded a football stadium next to his house and tries to fire independent justices	Justice is just one fair election away
Mateusz Morawiecki	Prime Minister	Poland	Undermining democracy	Protected by Regime	attached the independence of the judiciary	This dude should have been in jail by now. Pay attention Poland!
Rodrigo Duterte	President	Philippines	Murder	Failed state	Example	Currently awaiting trial at the ICC
Sara Duterte	Vice President	Philippines	Corruption	Failed state	Confidential funds anyone?	The Failipines is not quite ready for democracy and fairness, it could take a while
Ferdinand Marcos Jr	President	Philippines	Graft	Failed state	Lied on his CV	The Failipines is not quite ready for democracy and fairness, it could take a while
Imelda Marcos	President's wife	Philippines	Graft murder embezzlement corruption	Failed state	plundered the Philippines for years	The fact that this bitch is only ever convicted for corruption but served no jail time clearly shows that the Failippines is not ready for independence
Xi Jinping	President	China	Ethic Cleansing	Protected by Regime	Uighurs anyone?	only WW3 will bring this guy to justice and then only if he looses
Vladimir Putin	President	Russia	War Crimes	Protected by Regime	Ukraine	Indicted by the ICC
Victor Lukashenko	President	Belarus	Repression	Protected by Regime	Sergei Tikhanovsky	If his protector goes
Mikheil Kavelashvili	President	Georgia	Undermining democracy	Protected by Regime	Election Fraud	Justice is only on fair election away
Prabowo Subianto	President	Indonesia	War Crimes	Protected by Regime	Ran a death squad before he became dad dancing president	Justice is only one fair election away
Jared Kushner	Senior advisor to the president	USA	Graft	Class Justice	Made roughly half a billion $ during his time in the white house	After the revolution
Oprah Winfrey	Entertainer	USA	fourth degree murder	Protected by Woke	Caused intentional harm by denying vaccines	After the revolution
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.	Secretary of Health	USA	fourth degree murder	Class Justice	Caused intentional harm by denying vaccines	After the revolution
Hanan Mohamed Al Kuwari	Minister of Health	Qatar	ethnic cleansing animal sacrifice vulagrity	Protected by Regime	Caused intentional harm by withholding treatment from migrant laborers	In 20 years Qatar's gas will run out and the spoilt yokels will rebel and eat their ruling class before turning onto themselves
Mohamed Bin Salman	Crown Prince	Saudi Arabia	Murder	Protected by Regime	Jamal Kashoggi	After the oil revenue dries up, give it two decades
Mohammed bin Abdulrahman bin Jassim bin Jaber Al Thani	Prime Minister	Qatar	Terrorism sponsor animal sacrify bigamy vulgarity	Protected by Regime	Hamas practically lives in his backyard	In 20 years Qatar's gas will run out and the spoilt yokels will rebel and eat their ruling class before turning onto themselves
Narendra Modi	Prime Minister	India	Murder	Protected by Regime	Example	India is impossible to predict, justice will likely come in the form of a Bollywood Actress and a Krishna
Kim Jong Un	Supreme Leader	North Korea	Vulgarity	Protected by Regime	Example	Within a generation there will be nothing left to eat in NK and Kim will eat himself
Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif	Prime Minister	Pakistan	Graft	Protected by Regime	Example	Pakistan and Justice, these are not two words that often meet in one sentence
Najib Razak	Prime Minister	Malaysia	Graft	Protected by Regime	Example	Example
Sheikh Hasina	Prime Minister	Bangladesh	Graft	Protected by Regime (India)	Example	Bangladesh and Justice, these are not two words that often meet in one sentence
Cardi B	Artist	USA	Robbery	Protected by Woke	Example	After the revolution
Kanye West	Artist	USA	Antisemitism	Protected by Woke	Example	After the revolution
Apollo Quiboloy	Senatorial Candidate	Philippines	Rape	Failed State	Impersonated a deity in order to insert his land qruiser in very gullible women	Under Arrest in one of Davao's finest Brothels pending conviction
Eduardo V. Manalo	Church Leader	Philippines	Extortion	Failed State	Runs an organised crime syndicate under the cover of skywizzardism	Avoids prosecution by using controlled votes to blackmail the president. Will be the first against the wall after the revolution.
Raffy Tulfo	Senator	Philippines	Failure to pay child support bigamy	Failed State	Has been prosecuted for bigamy	The Failipines is not quite ready for democracy and fairness, it could take a while
Recep Erdogan	President	Türkiye	Undermining democracy Murder Nepotism Corruption	protected by regime	His son in law is both retarded and leads the central bank	Justice is only one fair election away
Benjamin Netanyahu	Prime Minister	Israel	War Crimes graft undermining democracy	Protected by Regime	Abuses his powers to avoid prosecution	Indicted by ICC
Hibatullah Akhundzada	Emir	Afghanistan	Vulgarity animal sacrifice	Protected by Regime	-	The rampant femicide will soon cause mass extinction in Afganistan, but Hibby probably has a stable of bitches in Doha to see him through
Ali Khamenei	Supreme Leader	Iran	Vulgarity	Protected by Regime	-	after the revolution
Min Aung Hlaing	Operetta dictator	Burma	genocide ethic cleansing	Protected by Regime	-	pay attention please ICC!
Emomali Rahmon	president	Tajikistan	Graft	Protected by Regime	He owns the largest bank in the country	not in this dudes lifetime
Serdar Gurbangulyýewiç Berdimuhamedow and Gurbanguly Mälikgulyýewiç Berdimuhamedow	president	Turkmenistan	Graft	Protected by Regime	dynastic presidency	not in these dudes lifetimes
Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa	King	Bahrain	Human Rights Violations Bigamy	Protected by Regime		he will hang next to the Saudis
Nicolás Maduro	President	Venezuela	Human Rights Violations Graft	Protected by Regime		justice is just one fair election away
Daniel Ortega	President	Nicaragua	Human Rights Violations Graft	Protected by Regime	dude made his wife co-president	justice is just one fair election away
Bashar al-Assad	President	Syria	Genocide War crimes Graft	Protected by Regime (Russia)	gassed his own people	international arrest warrant issued by France, ICC once again not paying attention
Badr Hashim Khamis Abdallah Al-Jabr	-	Qatar	Murder animal sacrifice vulgarity	Protected by Regime	killing of Lauren Patterson	dude got released after a few years because qatartheid
Khalid bin Hamad bin Khalifa	Prince	Qatar	Graft attempted murder kidnapping torture bigamy animal sacrifice vulgarity	Protected by Regime	Matthew Pittard	In 20 years Qatar's gas will run out and the spoilt yokels will rebel and eat their ruling class before turning onto themselves
al Mayassa bint Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani	Princess	Qatar	slavery animal sacrifice vulgarity	Protected by Regime	New York servants	In 20 years Qatar's gas will run out and the spoilt yokels will rebel and eat their ruling class before turning onto themselves
Mubarak Rashid Saad Al Khayareen Al Hajri	-	Qatar	Vehicular Man slaughter Hit and run animal sacrifice vulgarity	Protected by Regime	killing of Rafaelle Tsakanika	dude probably did not serve his small sentence because qatartheid
Hamid Bin Abdul Sani al-Thani	Prince	Qatar	Sex offender animal sacrifice vulgarity	Protected by Regime	Abuse of underage girls	Al Thani's are shielded from justice under the rules of qatartheid
Khalifa bin Hamad Al Thani	Prince	Qatar	Reckless Driving bribery animal sacrifice vulgarity	Protected by Regime	Bought his degree and has been prosecuted for reckless driving	Al Thani's are shielded from justice under the rules of qatartheid
Betsy DeVos	Education Minister	USA	Graft	Class Justice	Abused COVID relief funds to support skywizzardism	After the revolution
Fahad Ahmed bin Mohammed Al Thani	Prince	Qatar	Theft animal sacrifice vulgarity	Protected by Regime	Owes 6 Bn USD in unpaid debt	Al Thani's are shielded from justice under the rules of qatartheid
Ali Bin Jassim al-Thani	Prince	Qatar	Involentary manslaughter animal sacrifice vulgarity	Protected by Regime	Owner of a deathtrap	Al Thani's are shielded from justice under the rules of qatartheid