Bungee Jumping
Bungee (or Bungy) Jumping (also known as Kamikaze Lite, Twit Twanging and Rubber Stretching time) is an activity done mainly by humans to see who has the biggest balls in a given situation. As a sport/leisure activity/ it has replaced Chasing the Dragon or the Bolivian Army Marching Song in popularity with people with a profound Close Death Wish.
Ok..So Who Started This Bungee Business ?[edit | edit source]
The idea of throwing things or people goes back a long time in human history. Ziggurats of Ur may be the first - and oldest - rope less bungee jumping platform . It is believed that one reason why the prophet Abraham left Ur was that his name was down for the jump that year - so he moved to Canaan to found a new religion instead. Other 'jumping off' places were the Egyptian pyramids , the Temples of the Mayans, Stonehenge and the Tower of Babel.
The idea of tying a bit of rubber to the legs of a victim - oops ! I mean enthusiast - seems to have started in Indonesia . Despite stockpiling a lot of tyres for the forthcoming automobile revolution - this left the locals with a lot of rubber to play with. So after inventing condoms - Santono Runnaramok came up the 'Santono-Bungay' jump - in honour of him and H.G.Wells's book about some boring place in Suffolk. Santono was the first one to try it and wished he hadn't when the rope broke and threw him down a ravine. H.G.Wells declined the honour to be the second to try this but in the end the kill joy Dutch imperial masters of Indonesia put a stop to all this. That was until the Australians heard about this new sport.
Bounce Me Kangeroo Up and Down Sport[edit | edit source]
For Australians - the names of Tom Ocker, Sheila Wheels and Alice Springs - are famous in the history of what they called 'Bungee'. Avoiding any Pom reference to Bungay - these brave Australians decided to take up this sport on a sheep farm near Darwin. It soon became a favourite for all the local aussies and then spread around the world . However in a typical British plot - the whingers claimed Australia had no right to claim 'Bungee Jumping' as their own and said it came from New Caledonia, Vanuatu or Newport in Wales. In other words Bungee was made elsewhere.
Bungee Today[edit | edit source]
Bungee jumping is now separated into the pro-suicide and anti-suicide camps with the formed sticking to rubber, used condoms and old knicker elastic to make their ropes - whilst the others now use dull latex. Some use neither - and wear rubber suits to bounce of rocks instead but they are part of a fast diminishing community. The attractions for this 'sport' lay mainly with those with a teenage death wish or want to show off. Once a jump is done - a 'Bungeeist' has joined a club (as long as they are of the anti-suicide persuasion) which can give them discounts on all future latex purchases. This has lead to many Bungeeists joining film sets as latex rubbered extras in films like 'Sonic the Hedgehog' and 'Lord of the Turds'.
Is it better than Sex ?[edit | edit source]
Besides the answer - 'most things are' - Bungee Jumping is said to heighten sexual desire after the jump has been done. So - you could say - yes. Some cheats like to Bungee Jump their pets but this may lead to some pretty beastly business later on. So don't do it !
Olympic Sport in 2012[edit | edit source]
There is an idea to make it an Olympic sport in time for the 2012 London games. It is estimated that there are plenty of empty office towers where the matches could be held. So look out for a lot of people dangling off buildings in the run up to the next Olympic games.