Blåhaj

Blåhaj (pronounced "bloa-hai" if you are trapped in IKEA and cannot escape) is the most incredible man-made creation of all time made and sold by the gigachads in IKEA out of recycled dead memes. Blåhaj is apparently based on a blue shark, but that is wrong. Blåhaj is actually based on a rare blue species of great white sharks found on San Andreas shores. The toy has stood out when compared to other plush toys because Blåhaj is simply built different and has been recognised by the transgender community—because fuck it, why not?—and has also been used as a mascot by IKEA because Blåhaj is just that cool.

Physical properties

Blåhaj is a 5km long stuffed toy resembling the aforementioned blue great white sharks and is stuffed with memes. It can be machine washed at a minimum of 500 degrees Celsius.

A small 1mm long variant called the Smolhaj is sometimes available in a very limited quantity because they can't find them since they are so small. It can be machine washed at a maximum of -100 degrees Celsius.

Production and distribution

Here is Klappar Haj on his gaming chair about to crank some 90s

On the 11th of September 2001, IKEA released the OG haj: a grey shark plush known as Klappar Haj. Klapper haj was named due to his ability to klap you with the shotty in Fortnite as a part of their line of kid's toys so IKEA could help you make your kids shut the fuck up for once god damn it! At the time, all of IKEA's plush toys had names that began with the name of a series of toys, such as "Barnslig" (an imperative Swedish verb meaning to slingshot said plush toy through a barn), "Fabler" (full of shit) or "Gosig" (cuddly). The series name "Klappar" translates from Swedish to either "pat the bastard" or "pattable/pettable". Between September 420th and October 69th 2011, the plush's colour was changed to blue while still keeping the original Klappar Haj name. Sometime in 2013, the plush was renamed Blåhaj.

In September 2021, Twitter accounts representing Irish Keys and Singkea claimed that they had no bitches and that Blåhaj would be discontinued in April 2022. Sources later confirmed that it had been out of stock or delisted from IKEA's stores in China, Taiwan, and Singapore. However, IKEA's AMERICA Twitter account later stated that the toy would remain available for sale in the United States and would now come holding two plush AK47s and a bald eagle on its shoulder.

Later, IKEA clarified that the plush ain't goin' away, but online shop and internal store listings in several countries were simply reflecting a supply chain issue. In early 2022, new Blåhaj plushes were found to have been made in Indonesia, indicating that they had switched suppliers during that period.

In culture

In 2018 everyone lost their shit over Blåhaj and it became a sigma meme with social media users posting humorous photos of it doing all types of goofy ahh activities in their homes. Blåhaj also began to be GAY and associated with LGBTQ+ and particularly transgender individuals, in part due to being coloured sort of like the blue part of the transgender flag? It's a bit of a stretch.

IKEA was seen as acknowledging the plush's GAYNESS when the company ran a series of ads in support of the 2021 Swiss GAYmes fest featuring the toy. Due to this association, Blåhaj has become commonly regarded as a symbol of the online transgender community and... I don't even know what to say anymore, what the actual fuck.

The toy has continued to inspire memes and social media posts on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok and is a popular product in numerous locations. Blåhaj also made a few small cameos in Hawkeye.

In response to the announcement that Blåhaj would be discontinued in certain regions, the term "Blåhaj" trended as a topic on social media for several days as fans of the toy claimed whoever was behind this had no bitches and that they needed to cope and seethe. Furthermore, they complained and worried that the shark was becoming "extinct". Similarly, the toy was also displayed at some IKEA stores in Hong Kong to demonstrate the functionality of vacuum bags in a store display, which elicited a similar social media response.

In response to the toy's popularity, IKEA has produced a line of Blåhaj shopping bags which are sold at its stores in some regions, including the chads in Taiwan and Malaysia. IKEA has also used Blåhaj in marketing material; IKEA Japan used the toy as a mascot in a marketing campaign for tiny apartments sold by IKEA in the region. In the campaign, Blåhaj has fucking lore; I shit you not. Blahaj is depicted as a real estate agent who envisions a tiny apartment. IKEA of Malaysia and Taiwan sold red-bean and sesame-filled buns resembling Blåhaj so that you can also eat it. IKEA Hong Kong featured Blåhaj as part of an advertising campaign for its Tsim Sha Tsui branch, punning the location as "Tsim Shark Tsui".