Hitler the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Hitler the Red-Nosed Reindeer was Adolf Hitler's half-brother. A gene mutation gave him a dark red nose and other unique features. Consequently, despite the similar given names, there was never difficulty telling them apart, although his brother grew a toothbrush mustache, just to make sure for shit.
Though abnormal, the nose made Hitler look more elegant when marching and it was still dark beautifully in the house, attracting women. Hitler the Red-Nosed Reindeer has been known for trespassing, backyard-grazing and eating out people's gardens and bushes. The police hunted him but it was a guerrilla war and Hitler hardly appears simian. Hitler's tactics, such as Surprise Buttings and Butt Kicks, prolonged this hunt for 17 months, until Hitler was nearly frozen to death while taking a bath. Hitler was caught, sentenced for his several offenses, and released into the depths of Sumeria.
His life at Sumeria[edit | edit source]
In Sumeria, Hitler adapted to the life of the Sumerians. He settled in the city of Sumer to a harsh life, eating only when necessary, on the brink of death. Hitler tried to get a job and finally became a lantern at the Street of Elmo district, warning cars when they neared a corner. He eventually quit and became a salesman of Christmas decorations.
The Sumerian government took due notice of Hitler's capacity for self-defense, and installed him in the Navy during the Great War. He fought in the Gunboat battles against Hittia. Although his formal title was Forward Beacon, he also showed skill at gunnery. He received the Sumerian medal of honor for shooting down the Flying Desert Tiger with nothing but a Panzerfaust. For schizophrenia and showboating, he received the Red Circle.
His Death[edit | edit source]
Fatefully, Hitler wandered into the wilderness after the war. He came to the Limpopo River where a snake lived. The angry Hitler asked the snake what it ate. The snake said "come closer so you can hear what I say." So Hitler went nearer, but too near and was thus eaten alive by the great python. The python was in fact, Churchil, the PM of Christmas, although he loved Jews. Enough of that.
His Song[edit | edit source]
Hitler, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Had some very angry views
And if you ever heard him,
You would know he hates the Jews
All of the other fascists
Used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Hitler
Play in any murder games.
Then one foggy Hanukkah,
Satanbear came to say:
"Hitler with your nose so dark,
Won't you kill the Jews someday?"
Then all his followers loved him
As they joyfully yelled out anew,
"Hitler, the Red-Nosed Reindeer,
You'll go down in World War 2!"
| Fear their wrath, and beware their contrived names. If you are still confused about which one you want, you were probably much better off with Original Hitler. | |
| Hitler the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Satan Claus' favorite ride. | HONK HONK! Don't be sad with Clown Hitler |
| Darth Hitler: Join the white side, we have baths :) | Watch out, Poland! It's the Attack of the 50ft Hitler |
| Hadolf Itler: The Jews' greatest ally. | You shouldn't drop your soap around Gay Hitler |
| Adolf Hitler, Jr.: He's got the sadism from pappa! | The official nazi indoctrination channel: UK Hitler Channel |
| Everyone is Hitler: Because in this world, anybody can be Hitler... | ...well, anybody except for, of course, I Can't Believe It's Not Hitler |
| Evil Illuminati Adolf Hitler Clone Society: The folks behind this madness | |
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| If you are still unsatisfied with these Hitlers, you can always check out even... | |
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