Aluminium

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They said that I have to say some stuff about Aluminium (or aluminum), so here I go... I'm not the best speaker, but please bear with me on this one guys n' girls.

Isn't it shiny? Its also un-heavy! Cool right?

Properties of Aluminium[edit]

Aluminium is a metal which is not only un-heavy, but also stronger than steel, whilst being less heavy. Aluminium is however, not a light metal, as it is not moving at the speed of light. Therefore, it is not light, but rather, un-heavy. It is also shiny, and shiny means good, but I also think that matte is good, because it is like, not as noticeable, but when other stuff isn't matte, it stands out really nicely, like my Ford Mustang in Need for Spe... oh, sorry for going off on a tangent. Anyhow, it can be painted any color, except for orange. Also, aluminium has great thermal properties, which is why it is used in heatsinks, or cooling systems, as it transfers heat, or something like that. Did I mention that it is not light, but rather, un-heavy?

Uses of Aluminium[edit]

This magical metal, is utilized in the production of:

  • Airplanes, as they need to be un-heavy, as airplanes are not supposed to be heavy, which would make the airplane sink due to the weight, and therefore, not fly.
  • Aluminum foil, as aluminium makes for a stark contrast on the character displayed by steel, giving a dionysian counter, to the apollonian nature of steel, who displays an ovidian perspective, rather than aluminium's forward ideology.
  • Cars, because cars that are un-heavy, are more efficient, and since the gas at Chevron is like, $4.52 to the gallon, it's insane man!
    It's so cool, this car is almost all aluminium! IT'S AWESOME!! Oh wait.. this is for informational purposes. Yeah, it's aluminium.
    You won't believe how hard it is to find cheap gas, save drilling for your own oil, and then getting it refined... oh I must be going on a tangent again... damn, gotta keep it together I should have taken my vyvanse....
  • The Zune. Now, before you shoot me down for this, I just listed the Zune because it is made of aluminium, this does not mean I either like or dislike the Zune.
  • Computers, you won't believe how many computers have aluminium components in them, or have aluminium cases. Ergo, I think that this is a very valid thing to list. For example, the heatsink in my computer has aluminium fins, which disperse the heat well. One failed attempt at using the properties on aluminium for a heatsink, is the Apple III computer. I mean, that thing had no ventilation! It was like, just a block of aluminium, I lol'd when I read about it... I think it was on a computer website, something like, worst 20 computers or something. That thing was fun to read. Oh DAMN, sorry for going on a tangent again, I promise, it won't happen again.
  • Armor, I mean, since it is so un-heavy, yet still strong, I would expect it to be used in armor, as light, but strong armor is obviously better than heavy and weak armor.
This is the one I have, isn't it cool looking???
  • Yo-Yos, there are many aluminium yo-yos in the market nowadays, I mean, not only are they better than the plastic yo-yos, but damn... they look cool. I have an aluminium yo-yo... wait I need to focus. Anyways, aluminium is also used due to its un-heavyness, and smoothness.

History[edit]

So, basically in the past, aluminium was about as valuable as silver, because mining it back in the day, as some people say (I'm a poet and I don't know it!), was extremely difficult, and silver and aluminium kind of look the same, so they could be interchangeable I guess. I think that the metal thing on top of the Washington Memorial, was aluminium, but then they changed it to silver, or maybe vice versa. I guess if they put silver on top, that would be stupid, because silver can oxidize and get tarnished and stuff. Or maybe they treated it with something. Anyways, when aluminium mining was simplified, the price went down. So, when the price went down, lots of stuff started using aluminium, and that made it much better, because the aluminium replaced the steel in some things, making said things more un-heavy. In fact, many things today have abandoned steel in favor of aluminium. But my opinion is that, even though steel is more heavy than aluminium, it is cheap. Plus steel sounds cooler than Ah-loo-myhn-e-um, right? I mean, what kind of metal has that kind of name??? Anyways, it is used a whole lot in today's modernized world, for all sorts of modern things.

Other Facts About Aluminium[edit]

  • It is smooth when polished
  • It tastes weird
  • It's worse than copper for conductivity
  • By the way, did you know that pennies aren't made mostly of copper?
  • Its Zinc... or something
  • Also, the penny is actually more expensive to produce than 1 cent?
  • I mean, who would have thought?
  • FUCK, I KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED
  • FUCK THIS. I QUIT