Yalta Conference
The Yalta Conference was a pay-per-view wrestling match between the Soviet Union, the United States of America, and the British Empire as held in Yalta, Crimea. The three states were represented by Joseph Stalin and the challenging duo to the heavyweight European championship; Franklin D. Roosevelt and Winston Churchill. The event was held in order to intimidate German leader Adolf Hitler into surrender of all European conquests, though failed to take into account Emperor Hirohito of Japan and his patented kamikaze wind technique.[1]
Production[edit | edit source]
The Yalta Conference is one of the most important matches in all of wrestling history, delineating the clear end of the use of firearms in the sport and the first use of scripted storylines as written by acclaimed musician and de facto referee Charles de Gaulle.[2] As the host nation, the Soviet Union would foot the bill for all costs as inquired by the event, causing the Siberian potato to become extinct due to Churchill's affinity for fish and chips.
Event[edit | edit source]
While history doesn't recall the exact series of events as no historical institution bothered to pay for the DVD or Blu-Ray box set[3], it is recorded that Franklin D. Roosevelt would become paralyzed some time after the event, Joseph Stalin would die from a stroke, and Winston Churchill would survive temporarily. A free DVD collectable set would later be forwarded to the German delegation in Zürich, Switzerland, which would be shown at the Reichstag on the 29th of April, 1945.
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
On the 30th of April, 1945, Adolf Hitler killed himself in Berlin, Germany.
References[edit | edit source]
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Emperor Hirohito would not participate in the event, but would continue to smack-talk allied forces until the sun fell directly on his head. Twice.
- ↑ Charles de Gaulle would be accused of being a pussy by the French public, though his diminished reputation would revitalize after the discovery and ingestion of francium, the purest form of french energy.
- ↑ Sixty fuckin' dollars, apparently? Jesus christ.