Why?:Planet Earth hates us (Humans)

Earth is sad, and it's all your fault.

So why does Planet Earth hate us, I hear you cry? Well I'll tell you.

Because we, humans, are using too much Greenhouse Gases. As a result, Earth is mad at us! We've all gotta stop this Global Warming thing before we are all shitted!

When you, uhh... make a cow fart, it apparently causes heatwaves that affect the planet, screwing up the atmosphere or whatever. Global warming has been causing the earth to break out in boils, and if we don't stop it soon, Earth will punish us all and eventually, we'll all fall into them and DIE!!!!

So how can I help?

• Instead of using Google, use Ecosia. For every 45 uses of Ecosia, a tree will spawn out of nowhere, possibly in a field, possibly in a main road, it might be dropped onto oncoming traffic. Who knows? That's part of the fun. If you don't know how many 45 is, Google it.

• Ban all plastic and go back to cutting down trees to make paper bags and straws. It's good for the planet! Trees are basically stealing our oxygen anyway to make leaves, which we don't even eat. Plus, paper bags are biodegradable, meaning they turn back into dirt in just 397 years. If we chop down all the forests we'll save the planet!

• Stop exhaling. When you breathe out, you release Carbon Dioxide. Therefore, breathing out is murder. Just inhale. Keep inhaling. You will inflate like a balloon, but that's not important right now.

• Instead of that ChatGPT thing, use EcoGPT, which is only available for iPhone. ViroAI is for the poor idiots who use Android.

• Donate to Greenpeace, the only organisation that truly knows how to stop Global Warming! If you don't know what the fuck Greenpeace is, Google it.

• Get yo' trash and throw it into the street like a basketball!

See Also

• Greenpeace
  
• Earth
  
• Global Warming
  
• Al Gore's seafront Mansion

This article needs more work. See ICU and below for details.

This page will be re-checked on 22 March 2026, and if not improved will face deletion.

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