Why?:Featured
<option> Why?:College is for suckers!
Greetings, everybody. So, you want to go to college, you know, get some big shiny degree, and a high paying job hanging around with sexy chicks, don't you? Riding around in a Red Barchetta until the gas runs out and not giving a damn about those stupid environmentalists and their pointless complaints? Well, tell you what. It ain't going to happen! Because college is a complete scam invented by The Big 5 Corporations to lure idiots like you, (yes you!) to college for some "special degree" in some sort of "high paying" jobs. Except you find out it was a big waste of time and money because the professor was so fucking boring, you decided to skip all of your classes. Also not to mention spending money on your credit card for drugs and beer, and by your credit card, I meant your parents already maxed out plastic. The next thing you know you're either going to become a jobless hobo, drinking expired Whiskey from the dumpster or you'll probably be a fully pimpled and morbidly obese loser who gets a job at McDonalds and decides to move back to their parents. They lose their house, because the college you went to (and fled from) wanted to add some nonexistent taxes on the funding. (See more…)</option><option> Why?:Pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
Boiling hot water has a number of household uses; some days, it seems like we couldn't even function without a cup of the stuff. Sure, we can all think of the typical uses for piping hot agua (tea; water torture; jacuzzi supplementation). But have you ever thought about its other viable, cost-effective uses? More specifically, have you ever thought about using it as an alarm clock, or sexual repression aid?
If you answered yes to the previous questions, you've just taken the first step towards unlocking the inherent power of steaming, blistering H20. And if you've taken this all-important first step, it's likely that you're ready for the ultimate in aquatic functionality. Go ahead friend; grab that handle, grip it tight, open your fly and funnel in that molten liquid stream!
aaaAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Now wasn't that refreshing? Of course it was. But the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers. (See more…)</option><option> Why?:Divorce Is Good
Hello, ladies! If you're reading this, you're probably an average woman with a decent marriage, but you're worried there may be rough water ahead. You know what you can do to make that rough water smooth out? Divorce! I'm going to teach you how divorce can benefit your marriage, family, and overall life. It's worked for Charlie Sheen, and it can work for you!
I bet you're probably wondering…
"What would divorce do for me? What about my family?" And most of all, you're probably wondering, "Why should I make such an important life decision now?" Well, first of all, have you ever looked at your bastard husband? Seriously, what the hell do you see in him? It's like Julia Roberts and freaking Lyle Lovett.
Second of all, divorce has many benefits to you, your marriage, and your family. What benefits, you ask?
Good for your physical appearance
You want to look good, right? You want to lose weight and feel good, and to be confident in your own body? Well, all the exercise, dieting, purging, and tapeworms in the world couldn't be a better weight loss and beauty supplement than divorce! (See more…)</option></choose>