Wally the Green Monster
Wally the Green Monster is a known American criminal, actor, children's book star, and mascot of the Boston Red Sox. Originally standing 37 feet tall[1], Wally was shrunk in a freak accident involving a ceiling fan, a Blue Line train, and Ted Williams' right femur[2].
 Wally in 2008 | |
| Born | 1947, first seen in April 1997 |
|---|---|
| Died | When the Tampa Bay Rays win the World Series |
| Hometown | Boston, Massachusetts |
| Nationality | American |
| Occupation | criminal, actor, children's book star, mascot of the Boston Red Sox |
| Years active | 1997-present |
| Predecessor | Lefty and Righty |
Biography[edit | edit source]
Birth and early life[edit | edit source]
Wally was born in 1894 in the Green Monster at Fenway Park to some random guy on the corner of Boylston and Park Streets and Luna Moccasins (before she turned gay). In 1947, he moved under the left-field wall at Fenway, assuming the title of The Green Monster at this time.
Life as the Green Monster[edit | edit source]
Living in a giant wall can get boring[3], so Wally began his life of crime. Starting in the early 50's, he began to cause mischief, including taunting the scoreboard operators. A founding member of The Gang (along with Dracula, a kehd from South Boston, and a guy from Worcester, and Elvis Presley), Wally's first major crime was throwing an as of yet unnamed Bostonian into Boston Harbor, where he was killed by the same Blue Line train that caused Wally to end up only 7 feet tall. [Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]
Addiction and Redemption[edit | edit source]
In 1974, Wally began to suffer an addiction to Marshmallow Fluff, and would often go to great lengths to obtain this Class A narcotic. Among other methods, his primary way of getting the substance was to run trucks carrying it off the road, steal it, and murder the drivers. After the incident which caused Wally to end up at his current height, as well as suffering a 23-year prison sentence, he vowed to redeem himself by becoming the mascot for the Boston Red Sox, and to become a role model for children, preventing them from following the same path of addiction he went down.
Bibliography[edit | edit source]
All of Wally's books save for Journey Through Time were co-written with Jerry Remy.
Hello, Wally! 2006
Wally the Green Monster and His Journey Through Red Sox Nation! 2007
A Season With Wally the Green Monster, 2008
Coast to Coast With Wally the Green Monster, 2008
Wally the Green Monster and His World Tour, 2009
Wally the Green Monster's Journey Through Time, (co-illustrated with Dustin Pedroia,) 2012