User talk:USMEME0

Oh Dear...

Beware! The evil eye is upon thee!

Hello, USMEME0, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• If you're a vandal, this may be your wake up-call!
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  — SG1|Hereish ^{[citation needed]} 04:50, 21 May 2019 (UTC)

I Needed Help! …and all I got was this lousy template. (Were your questions answered? We hope so!)

• (USMEME0 (talk) 10:38, 21 May 2019 (UTC))USMEME0 (USMEME0 (talk) 10:38, 21 May 2019 (UTC))

(USMEME0 (talk) 10:49, 21 May 2019 (UTC))USMEME0(USMEME0 (talk) 10:49, 21 May 2019 (UTC)) (USMEME0 (talk) 10:52, 21 May 2019 (UTC))USMEME0(USMEME0 (talk) 10:52, 21 May 2019 (UTC))

Do you need something? →L A B O R A T O R I E S 17:57 21 May 2019

Welcome!

Hello, USMEME0, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
• Votes for Highlight Page - read the very best articles and have your say about what goes onto our front page
• Pee Review - a place to get detailed feedback on your articles
• Uncyclopedia:What You Can Do - if you don't know what to do

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! 

It appears you've learned your lesson and can safely return to editing Uncyclopedia. Provided you attempt to be funny, of course. Good luck, and if you ever need anything, just ask. PF4Eva, the President of Imagination Vote for me My tax returns 00:50, 2 June 2019 (UTC)