User talk:Jboyler

Welcome!

Hello, Jboyler, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Jboyler/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 08:07, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

Some good work!

User:Hindleyite has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Hi. Just like to say you're doing a great job on the wiki so far with the advice you're offering to people. Just a quick heads up: if you come across a one sentence article someone created recently, put in on the list at Quick votes for deletion. {{NRV}} is for slightly longer articles, but still quite bad articles. You can read more information about this on the QVFD page. Thanks and keep up the good work! -- Hindleyite 21:55, 30 October 2006 (UTC)

Aha. Thank you! Jboyler 21:57, 30 October 2006 (UTC)

List of number of shoes of various things

I am unsure to the NRV-ness of this article, as you marked. This list is related to shoes, and if you read said article, you would understand the redeeming value of List of number of shoes of various things. Please tell me why this has No Redeeming Value. ~ PHDrillSergeant...§ 22:59, 30 October 2006 (UTC)

Well, therein lies the problem. It's just a list of random things accompanied by random numbers of shoes. At first the idea might be kind of silly but it's essentially one joke. An improvement would be to write articles about why those things need shoes or why so many shoes are required.

Instead of:

Camels = 23 shoes

Try something like:

Camels, though possessing only four legs, go through a huge number of shoes each day. This is because camels are notorious spitters and, as all camels know, regurgitated shoe resin makes the stickiest camel spit. Llamas and alpacas, on the other hand, are much more well-mannered and only require four formal shoes when they go out to dinner. (Occasionally a llama may be spotted wearing tennies, but only when he's just come home from exercising. Most llamas are extremely embarassed if they are caught in their runners.)

Really, it's a question of content. You can mine this topic for many more jokes than just making a list of numbers. Jboyler 01:00, 31 October 2006 (UTC)

I see your point. I have updated the article with notes for reasons for each number. If you don't mind, I'll remove the NRV tag. If you do mind/have any more problems, then just replace the tag and let me know. Thanks for your help. ~ PHDrillSergeant...§ 01:56, 31 October 2006 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

First, let me say you've written some great UnNews stuff. I nommed the Katie Holmes one for VFH. Sorry I haven't gotten around to welcoming you yet, I'm organizationaly challenged. Below you'll find the cookie-cutter welcoming stuff, but I wanted to say thanks for all of your work on UnCyc, and do keep it up. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:51, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, and thank you for contributing some crap. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and celebrity. Cheers!

Prototype: how to do an unnews audio

Note: this crap is a work in progress

As for doing the UnNews Audio Perpendicular Mambo, first you'll need software to record sound files on your computer. I currently use Cakewalk Sonar, but many other applications such as the freeware Audacity, or other commercial applications like Steinberg's Cubase and Pro Tools Digital Audio Workstation will be great.

Having that in place, there ar UnNews jingle files you can download, and add to your files here:

• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_British.mp3
• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_American.MP3

You'll need to upload your final audio file in mp3 format.

Once uploaded, you'll need to tag the article you've read like this

{{UnNewsAudio|Your_soundfile_name.mp3}}.

Next, go to this page http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, add your file with pointer and file size arranged like this:

Your_soundfile_name.mp3|article_title|<file size>KB|

The file size information can be found on the info page of the audio which you've uploaded.

The procedure for setting up your file for podcast is a secret freemason thingy which Olipro and I currently manage. I'm around almost daily, so I look for new audio files to delete fix, or whatever. If you get hung up with any of these steps, let me know, or alternately check out #unnews and #uncyclopedia on IRC.

And finally, again for you personally, JBoyler...

xMAS

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:57, 19 December 2006 (UTC)