User talk:Fifty cal

I am Fifty cal now speak

Welcome!

Hello, Fifty cal, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Fifty cal/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  1234 ~ 02:12, 12 January 2011

User:Fifty cal/UnNews:Dinosaurs not completely extinct

Welcome to UnNews and thank you for your contribution. Unfortunately, it's not done yet and I've moved it back to your user space, where I hope you will work further on it.

The article has a headline that makes people want to read it, and a good photo. What it lacks is a connection to news. Clearly, there isn't an article in the real news to base this on; the way we handle that is to use {{Original}} as the Sources, rather than just question marks.

But not being based on news, the connection you need is to make this read like news. Right now, it's just a bunch of personal experiences and feelings. In my opinion, you need to answer two questions:

• How do we know that dinosaurs are not completely extinct?
• What just happened (= news) to change our minds?

Of course, your answers don't have to be true, just funny.

Would you please read our Style Guide to learn more about writing UnNews?

When you are done, use the move tab at the top of the page to rename your article so it goes back into UnNews. Thanks! Spıke ¬ 17:18 16-Jan-11

UnNews:Usher booed off stage

I don't know what to do about this one. It is based on actual events, but it's very tiny, and did you read the Style Guide? If it was twice as long and twice as funny I'd be inclined to put it in shape. As it is, I've asked for a second opinion. Spıke ¬ 00:59 18-Jan-11

Well, you're in luck, and the guy I asked for permission to take a cigarette lighter to this piece is in Europe and fast asleep; meanwhile a reader in Colorado tells me she got a laugh out of it, so I did the clean-up. Quotes in italic, not bold, please. (Even that is optional nowdays.) No unnecessary capitals in the headline. And I wish you wouldn't state a personal opinion, as you do in the last paragraph, but provide "facts" that lead the reader to the opinion you want him to have. That looks more like news. Spıke ¬ 03:57 18-Jan-11

Thanks SPIKE