User talk:Deletion Quality
Attention[edit source]
If you are to start flame wars against me or anything else on this page, you will be subjected as in case 5.5, section Q... But to get it over with, do not be surprised if you find the following template on your page:
CONGRATULATIONS, DICKHEAD!
That is all.
Welcome to our magnificent civilization![edit source]
Greetings, honored traveler Deletion Quality, and welcome to the glorious nation of Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions to the site. I hope you enjoy this great land and decide to make a home here. If not, the city exit is right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah, there you go. Anyway, here are a few helpful links for humble newcomers such as yourself:
If you read any of Uncyclopedia's sacred parchments, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with some sort of issue, try these:
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If you need any sort of help, then feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the Village Dump, or add the following template: {{help}} to this page along with a message describing your dilemma and someone will come along and help you if they can.
Again, welcome! -- 22:58, 10 June 2007 (UTC)
Welcome to UnNews[edit source]
Your article, UnNews:Kittens kill Huffing Activists, needs a bit of TLC. Although the pics are great, the writing leaves something to be desired. Do not despair, nor gnash not thine own teeth, but rather take heart in the welcoming drivel I give most everyone, below. Cheers! 
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:42, 24 June 2007 (UTC)
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On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! |
Welcome to UnNews, Deletion Quality, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.
I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.
You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.
If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.
Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.
Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.
- This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:42, 24 June 2007 (UTC)
Moved[edit source]
I've moved User:Deletion Quality/Fallout from Kitten Huffing Killing arrests Al Meowda leader to your user space because it needs more to make it UnNews-worthy. Try again and win a banana hammock! Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:31, 25 June 2007 (UTC)