User:Deletion Quality/Fallout from Kitten Huffing Killing arrests Al Meowda leader
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
24 June 2007
Police have captured Meowmers McPaws, head of Al Meowda, the Kitten Terrorist group allegedly responsible for many assassinations and bombings, including bombing a Kansas Kitten Huffing demonstration, covered in a past UnNews article.
McPaws' works include the 199999 riots at a dog show, murdering Lassie, Kobe Bryant and many Kitten Huffing advocates. The anti-huffing slant of the terrorist shows in many of his killings, most victims are found with their anuses stretched abnormally in the style of something familliar, faces ripped off, and "Meow Meow Mew" etched upon their chests. It means "Kitten Huffers must be raped" in whatever the hell that language cats speak.
"Meowmers is in custody now," explains Kansas police chief Ken Muff. "He is to be trialed the day after the next day after this one."
Meowmers's accomplice, Cutiepie, was arrested the day of the Kansas Kitten Huffing Killings, and promptly put to sleep afterwards after being trialed by a panel of dogs. The Government didn't mention if Cutiepie tipped off Meowmer's location, which was the den of a Grue, which Meowmers apparently killed with his mad skillz.
Kittens have been outraged. "McPaws has justified these actions," said one angry kitty to a translator. "If it wasn't for him and Al Meowda, I'd be being huffed by that Lucario fanboy over there."
"Meowmers saved my son's life," pleaded another cat. "They were about to huff him, but he killed those fuckers. Don't trial him, he's done nothing wrong."
"I liek mudkipz." Said some other cat.
Socks, Meowmer's lawyer, told media, "Meow meow hiss meow mew purr."
"Justice has been served," Muff says. "But it is still sad for Kansas and the Kitten Huffing community."
