User talk:Brother Hekmatyar

Pre-Rendered Welcome!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

The Balloon welcomes you!

Hello, Brother Hekmatyar, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thanks for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left...Not that far, goddammit! ...Yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links, particularly the second one. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, or need more help with something, try these:

• The help pages
• The FAQs
• The vanity policies
• Getting started

If you feel like asking someone for help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, in the help forums, or on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel. With the forums and the IRC, keep in mind that the first response of the community is almost always general silliness. We are after all, a silly wiki, run by numerous silly, silly people. When you edit discussion pages, though, make sure you sign your name, using four tildes (~~~~) or the "sign" button (), above the edit box. This'll automatically produce your name and the date, and lets everyone know who the hell you are. Signing will also help you avoid the {{tilde}} template.

When you write articles, make sure you start with enough on the page so that it's not deletion-quality. If you must create a stub that you plan to expand on in the near future, use a {{WIP}} or {{Construction}} tag to mark it as a work-in-progress. However, if you leave a tagged WIP unedited for a full week, it'll wind up huffed. If the idea of impending deletion doesn't appeal to you, you should like I do, and start pages in userspace, first. This means making a page like User:As Brother Hekmatyar said○○○/Article about stuff. In userspace just about anything goes(save for the obvious no-nos, like shock pics or other stupidity), and you can build and rework your page(s) at your leisure. Once it's done, just move into mainspace, maybe getting a pee review at some point to get constructive feedback on your article.

For new users seeking help, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join--but you might want to go and actively ask someone from here, or you may not be noticed.

Lastly, and most importantly, have fun with it! As a comedy wiki, that's kinda what Uncyc is for. Enjoy yourself, and remember to never take anything anyone here says too seriously. We have serious moments, but generally we stay pretty laid back. Also, I'm not a bot. Just 'cause you saw a similar message on a bunch of other users' pages doesn't mean I didn't have to copy and paste this one onto yours with my own meatsack of a finger. Anyways, welcome to the machine! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:31, Aug 18

• Thanks. I'm mainly here to contribute about the symbol I hate, ○ Brother Hekmatyar

Join the UnOrder Today!

~ Readmesoon

Sorry, I believe in Christ as my lord and Saviour. --Brother Hekmatyar 08:06, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

UnOrder Awards

Dear Brother Hekmatyar, the monthly awards for the Unorder of Uncyclopedia are now open nomination and voting. You can nominate your fellow UnOrder Members for Weiner of the Month (UnOrder Writer of the Month), b00b of the Month (UnOrder n00b of the Month), and Recyclopedian of the Month (UnOrder Uncyclopedian of the Month). Thank you and have a nice day! ~ Readmesoon