User:Zad/Middle Children and Middle Child Syndrome
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Middle Children, born after the first child and before the last in most cases, is a very common kind of child. Often at a very early age they are diagnosed with MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME.
Diagnosis[edit | edit source]
This diagnosis is based on the following, where L is the level of middle childness, and X is either 1 for male, 2 for female, 3 for homosexual female, 5 for homosexual male, 0 for a child that is both or neither sexes, or cannot have sex at all. Y stands for the degree of the symptoms.
Failed to parse (syntax error): {\displaystyle P=L*X²*Y³}
P is the "Placement" on the scale of middlechildness. (Work on this later.)
Symptoms[edit | edit source]
While most children are diagnosed of being a middle child and of having MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME at a very early age, the symptoms do not show up for quite a while.
- Ever since the Internet became popular, middle children would use caps lock in an attempt to be noticed, possibly by you or they or maybe even them.
- Female middle children will often dress like whores to get attention. Male middle children would simply be dicks.
These examples both point out that middle Children will do anything for attention.
Dealing with Middle Child Syndrome[edit | edit source]
So your child has been diagnosed with MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME? This quick guide should help you deal with any problems that occur.
If you are a Parent[edit | edit source]
Depending on your parenting style, you might want to tell the child to 'deal with it' and teach them tough love. This is not reccomended. Middle children are the least loved member of the family, and should be treated with extra care. You should buy your middle child everything they want, and do anything for them. Making yourself hate your other children has also been proven to help cure MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME.
If you are an Older/Younger sibling[edit | edit source]
Do not try to help. You are the reason for all of your middle sibling's pain and suffering. You should be ashamed.
If you are random person that happens to pass by them every now and then[edit | edit source]
If for some reason this has not helped you, then you have failed as a parent/sibling/random person that happens to pass by them every now and then. We recommend suicide, only after you have made sure everything you own will be left to your middle child/sibling.
But...[edit | edit source]
I don't want to kill myself!
In that case, have a sit down and rethink this. Look back at what you did and try to find where you went wrong.
No one believes I'm the middle child!
Then look around. If there are no other children, then you're an only child, another very special category. If there is just one other kid, then: If it is younger than you, your screwed. Welcome to being an older child. Nobody loves you. If it is is older than you, there is hope! Convince your mom to have a child, or if your male, impregnate her yourself! Than make her impregnable so you don't have to share the limelight.
We also have this example of what you can do if there are many children in your family:
I don't even know what you're talking about!
Can I interest you in some TTLY h0t pr0n, C1iCk h3r3 n0w f0r h0t pr0n!