User:VelairWight/Tourettes

Facts about me

ow 3 This user has already read all of Oscar Wilde's works. Twice. And has his picture over their bed. ow 3

sc P This fucker speaks Scrabble heavily laced with profanity that would make a fucking asshole sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy. sc P

en N This user is a native speaker of English. en N

rh 4 This user speaks Random Humour at a near-native level. rh 4

“I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again, I'm going to fucking kill VelairWight.”

~ Steve Ballmer on VelairWight

Note: some GOD DAMN swears randomly appear. The swears change every GOD DAMN time, and if you don't believe me, just refresh and scream AAAAAAAAA!

(I don't swear very GOD DAMN much in real life, but this is silliness beyond)

This is GOD DAMN about me

In real life, I am a GOD DAMN 18-year old GOD DAMN high school GOD DAMN graduate. I GOD DAMN did manage to get on GOD DAMN Steve Ballmer's hitlist for no GOD DAMN reason. Same with that GOD DAMN Oprah.

Pages I GOD DAMN created

• Tony La Russa - needs a GOD DAMN image of La Russa's GOD DAMN head on Darth Vader's GOD DAMN body
• Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball - almost GOD DAMN complete
• John Elway - GOD DAMN halfway GOD DAMN finished
• Jackson's Adventure - I am GOD DAMN with this GOD DAMN page
• Dan Kolb - very GOD DAMN incomplete
• Animaniacs - I am GOD DAMN so far GOD DAMN finished with this GOD DAMN page
• Tennessee Williams - still GOD DAMN needs some GOD DAMN work on it.

Templates I GOD DAMN created

• Silly NBA template

This list is quickly GOD DAMN expanding. Even GOD DAMN more will GOD DAMN come when I GOD DAMN have the GOD DAMN patience and GOD DAMN time to GOD DAMN make more GOD DAMN loony and GOD DAMN non-factual GOD DAMN pages. This is so GOD DAMN hard to do.

People

Here are my GOD DAMN friends and GOD DAMN enemies I GOD DAMN made in my 18 GOD DAMN years when I was GOD DAMN alive.

GOD DAMN Friends

• Tony La Russa
• The Pope
• Oscar Wilde
• I can't think of a good name here, FUCK this! - you GOD DAMN heard me you GOD DAMN!
• The Man with No Name
• Terry Francona

GOD DAMN Enemies

• Barbariccia
• Steve Ballmer
• League of X-Traordinary people
• Darth Mario
• Satan's Puppet
• The gateway to Hell

GOD DAMN Quotes

From GOD DAMN Wikipedia:

This is about Connie GOD DAMN Mack talking to Lefty GOD DAMN Grove.

Once, when he visited the mound to remove the notoriously hot-tempered pitcher Grove from a game, Grove said, "Go take a CSS", when Mack held out his hand for the ball. Mack looked Grove straight in the eye and calmly said, "You go take a CSS, Robert."

Sports Teams (that most don't even GOD DAMN exist)

Spades News

• St. Louis Cardinals - signed IF Bill Cosby to a GOD DAMN one year, $600,000 GOD DAMN contract. Signed GOD DAMN second baseman Simon Belmont to a GOD DAMN four year, $7.65 contract. Signed right fielder Kanye Bush to a GOD DAMN three year, eleventy GOD DAMN billion dollars contract.
• St. Louis WTFs - signed Your mom to a GOD DAMN lifetime contract. Signed Patrick Duffy to a GOD DAMN $5 contract, you GOD DAMN.

Note: none of these GOD DAMN players are GOD DAMN factual, except Your mom, who I GOD DAMN last night.

I PITY THE FOO' THAT WROTE THIS CRAP!           Someone help this sucka of a page by rewriting it. NOW!

It GOD DAMN seems like I GOD DAMN didn't get GOD DAMN Mr. T's seal of GOD DAMN approval. --The Insane Velair Wight 23:50, 28 June 2006 (UTC)