User:VelairWight/Tourettes

Facts about me

ow 3 This user has already read all of Oscar Wilde's works. Twice. And has his picture over their bed. ow 3

sc P This fucker speaks Scrabble heavily laced with profanity that would make a fucking asshole sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy. sc P

en N This user is a native speaker of English. en N

rh 4 This user speaks Random Humour at a near-native level. rh 4

“I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again, I'm going to fucking kill VelairWight.”

– Steve Ballmer on VelairWight

Note: some DAMN swears randomly appear. The swears change every DAMN time, and if you don't believe me, just refresh and scream AAAAAAAAA!

(I don't swear very DAMN much in real life, but this is silliness beyond)

This is DAMN about me

In real life, I am a DAMN 18-year old DAMN high school DAMN graduate. I DAMN did manage to get on DAMN Steve Ballmer's hitlist for no DAMN reason. Same with that DAMN Oprah.

Pages I DAMN created

• Tony La Russa - needs a DAMN image of La Russa's DAMN head on Darth Vader's DAMN body
• Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball - almost DAMN complete
• John Elway - DAMN halfway DAMN finished
• Jackson's Adventure - I am DAMN with this DAMN page
• Dan Kolb - very DAMN incomplete
• Animaniacs - I am DAMN so far DAMN finished with this DAMN page
• Tennessee Williams - still DAMN needs some DAMN work on it.

Templates I DAMN created

• Silly NBA template

This list is quickly DAMN expanding. Even DAMN more will DAMN come when I DAMN have the DAMN patience and DAMN time to DAMN make more DAMN loony and DAMN non-factual DAMN pages. This is so DAMN hard to do.

People

Here are my DAMN friends and DAMN enemies I DAMN made in my 18 DAMN years when I was DAMN alive.

DAMN Friends

• Tony La Russa
• The Pope
• Oscar Wilde
• I can't think of a good name here, FUCK this! - you DAMN heard me you DAMN!
• The Man with No Name
• Terry Francona

DAMN Enemies

• Barbariccia
• Steve Ballmer
• League of X-Traordinary people
• Darth Mario
• Satan's Puppet
• The gateway to Hell

DAMN Quotes

From DAMN Wikipedia:

This is about Connie DAMN Mack talking to Lefty DAMN Grove.

Once, when he visited the mound to remove the notoriously hot-tempered pitcher Grove from a game, Grove said, "Go take a GARY KILDALL", when Mack held out his hand for the ball. Mack looked Grove straight in the eye and calmly said, "You go take a GARY KILDALL, Robert."

Sports Teams (that most don't even DAMN exist)

Spades News

• St. Louis Cardinals - signed IF Bill Cosby to a DAMN one year, $600,000 DAMN contract. Signed DAMN second baseman Simon Belmont to a DAMN four year, $7.65 contract. Signed right fielder Kanye Bush to a DAMN three year, eleventy DAMN billion dollars contract.
• St. Louis WTFs - signed Your mom to a DAMN lifetime contract. Signed Patrick Duffy to a DAMN $5 contract, you DAMN.

Note: none of these DAMN players are DAMN factual, except Your mom, who I DAMN last night.

I PITY THE FOO' THAT WROTE THIS CRAP!           Someone help this sucka of a page by rewriting it. NOW!

It DAMN seems like I DAMN didn't get DAMN Mr. T's seal of DAMN approval. --The Insane Velair Wight 23:50, 28 June 2006 (UTC)