User:The Ninja Dishwasher/Mega Man ZX
“This game isn't as good as Zero 3.”
“Cobra! Retreat!! RETREAT!!!!”
“Cobra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!”
On September 11th, 2007, Crapcom released Mega Man ZX worldwide for the Nintendo DS.
The game follows the story-arch of Mega Man Zero Hour. If you haven't played those games, then the storyline will be shaky at best. If you did play those games, then you would have realized that this game can't compare to Mega Man Zero 3. In the game, you play as one of two children abandoned on the side of the road by their lesbian moms during a trip to the carnival. They were raised by Giro so that he could use them for child labor.
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Warning: The following text might contain spoilers.
This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Gordon Freeman accepts the G-Man's offer, Norman Bates is really the murderer, "To Serve Man" is a cookbook, Book dies and then Wash dies after the audience has been lulled into a false sense of security, Santa doesn't exist,and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!
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Plot[edit | edit source]
After a breathtaking Dukes of Hazard stunt on their ATV Dirtbikes, Vent and Giro, two pizza delivery guys gaze upon Cobra's secret headquarters in the middle of the city. They are delivering pizza to the Guardians, an leet group of h4x0r5 that party all day and all night, when Cobra's forces attack. Along the way, some shit happens that results in Vent getting a symbiote costume similar to a Spider Man comic, while Giro dies a tragic death. Vent teams up with the Guardians and is later joined by Aile, another employee from Girouette's Pizza Delivery Express, and thus the saga begins...
Cobra, meanwhile, amasses their forces in order to launch an all out attack on the city. Why? Who the hell knows?! Cobra is known for random acts of terrorism. The moral of the game is that Capcom steals ideas from Marvel superheroes. (Again.) The main story is an unforgettable tale of greed, sex, revenge, murder, terrorism, violence against robots, cyborgs (new to Mega Man), and psychotic fish-type creatures.
Peoples[edit | edit source]
Main Peoples[edit | edit source]
- Vent (Pronounced "Vent", as in "duct.") Vent is the guy... I think. He tends to be a slack-off bastard that frequently shouts fuck you during boss battles. Vent really only serves as some random male character you can play as, because in the video game world, giving the lead role to a female is the same as kicking Jesus in the nuts.
Pure blasphemy. He acts and sounds like an over-masculating woman during menstrual cycle. Vent is usually seen picking on small children in the park in area Preparation H. Vent makes $6.85 an hour at work.
- Aile (Pronounced "Ale", as in teh alcohol.) Aile is the chick and true main character that you can play as. On the main screen in the Japanese version, pressing select, A, B, right, left, down, down, up, up would allow you to play as nude Aile. If you put BEWARE OBLIVION IS AT HAND in at the password screen then you could play as the Terminator (Aile's long lost pappy.). Sadly, these codes do nothing in the U.S. release, and only make one of the bosses a yeti in the European version. Aile is a stuck up bitch that hates Giro due to his lecherous personality and discrimination against female employees, such as underpayment. Aile likes to shoot first and ask questions first. Aile makes about $3.50.
- Girouette (Giro) of North Umberland the III Giro, as most call him, is the typical jerkass restaurant or food delivery service owner, only about five times worse because of his thick English accent. He's British, but he doesn't like James Bond. (He was supposedly kicked out of a cargo plane over Afghanistan by Timothy Dalton; how he survived is a point of debate to this day.) Luckily, GIRO DIES AT THE END OF THE THIRD MISSION. Vent and Aile refer to him as "jerkass."
- Prairie Prairie is the leader of the Guardians and a self-proclaimed porn star. She rarely does anything for herself and usually sits on her ass all day. She is constantly trying to seduce Vent and keeps a number of sex toys in her room, including vibrating stuffed animals.
The Guardians[edit | edit source]
Do absolutely nothing during the course of the game, with the exception of Flavor. Most of them are the same people, which is revealed later in the game that Prairie has a cloning machine. Below is a list of the more fucked up members of the Guardians.
Flavour A short old man that creates exploding tacos for the player to chuck at enemies.
That really buff guy A really buff man. He does nothing.
That guy that forgets stuff A skinny guy that doesn't remember anything. I don't remember his name.
The fat nurse A fat nurse that asks you to do random shit.
The shy nurse A shy emo nurse that angsts about her dead boyfriend.
Hyper little kid A hyper little kid that runs around playing with the Walther P.38 form of the original Megatron transformers toy. It was because of this toy that the toy law was created. MEGATROOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!
Heavily armed redhead Every man's worst fear. Redheads. But this one carries a massive rocket launcher with her. Luckily, like all the other guardians, she just sits around and occasionally sells you Wonder Bread.