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Jabberjaw was a Seaworldian[1] land shark who is best known as the drummer in the Scooby Doo tribute band, The Neptunes.

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Jabberjaw was born in Invercarpgill, New Sealand in 2061. As a child, he was obsessed with the Three Stooges,[2] whom he describes as having "(got) no respect. No respect!" He also had a fondness for Scooby Doo and it's knock-offs[3]

Time with The Neptunes[edit | edit source]

From September 11, 2076 through September 3, 2078, Jabberjaw was the touring drummer for The Neptunes and quickly became close friends with bassist Norville "Clamhead" Rogers III.[4] They traveled the world, from Aquahama to Amsteraqua,[5] while growing in popularity. However, tensions within the band started when keyboardist, Bubbles[6] accused Jabberjaw of eating her goldfish. Jabberjaw, a strict humanitarian, denied such accusations[7] and returned to eating his baby back ribs. Unfortunately for the band, Bubbles would not let it go, and a feeling of animosity the next fourteen gigs, until finally, bland emotionless[8] guitarist/band leader, Biff[9] decided to intervene. This was the final straw, as the rift spread, and after a public breakdown during a gig, the band split, with Clamhead and Jabberjaw blaming Bubbles"Ding-a-ling," and Ding-a-ling Bubbles and Shelly blaming Jabberjaw Blubberhead. The break-up hit Biff particularly hard, and drank until he drowned in a pool of vomit.[10]

Later Years[edit | edit source]

After the break-up, Jabberjaw was unable to find stable employment, and found himself doing a number of odd jobs[11] for a number of years. During this time, he lost contact with Clamhead, who was constantly in and out of jail for sea cow tipping. By 2090, Jabberjaw hit an all-time low, and had to sell himself for money. This wasn't an ideal solution...

Legacy[edit | edit source]

After Jabberjaw's self-inflicted death, Clamhead began organizing a The Neptunes reunion concert. He convinced Bubbles to put aside her career as a nude model, "persuaded" Shelly to retire from selling protection money, and had Biff evicted from the afterlife for being late on his rent. They hired former "The Neptunes" tribute drummer, Misterjaw to fill-in for Jabberjaw. The new band played together again a few years later, but the ticket sales bombed, and the band split up again.

Fine Print[edit | edit source]

  1. Not To be confused with SeaWorld
  2. And their campy British knock-off, the Three Muskrat beers
  3. Such as Speedbuggy, Inch High Private Eye, Sherlock Holmes, and Jabberjaw
  4. Son of Norville "Tinker" Rogers Jr.
  5. At least according to Wikipedia, which is well known for its honesty
  6. Daughter of Bubbles and Bubbles
  7. with abhorrence
  8. And unlikable
  9. Who's ancestors are unknown, as he was born an orphan.
  10. It wasn't his
  11. Such as managing the Wyld Si Stallyns, Black Market trench coat dealer, etc.

Sea Also[edit | edit source]