User:Simsilikesims/Eastern mysticism

The science of mind control.

The magic 8-ball was a central part of eastern mysticism.

Eastern mysticism was developed in the 1920s in 中國, 日本 and 韓國 as way of researching brain tumors. According to Eastern mysticism, certain symbols and markings in 中文, such as 陰陽, ☯, 風水, 佛, 氣, and 姚明 cause the brains of 白人 to move into a trance-like state called 涅槃. A person in this state will be likely to spend large amounts of 金錢 on goods and services such as interior decoration, non-functional alternative medicines, and boring music. Such a person is also likely to hold many delusional beliefs about furniture arrangement, mirrors, 物理, and 天文. The psychologists Strunk and White, in a long-range longitudinal study conducted in 1991, showed that people under the affects of Eastern mysticism, though unable to distinguish reality from fantasy and also unable to act independently, can be up to 12.6% more economically productive than people who have 精神分裂 or who have undergone a 腦切除術. Much as 痲藥 can be used to alleviate symptoms of 井井井 中毒, Eastern mysticism can be used to alleviate symptoms of 精神病.

During 第二次世界大戰, the 日本人 used Eastern mysticism to develop weapons that were launched at cities on the west coast of 美國. These weapons were used by special forces called 絕地 to inflict damage on civilian populations. The devastation caused by these weapons can still be seen today in 舊金山 and 洛杉磯, where the children of 好萊塢 and 嘻皮人 continue to show extensive brain damage, even in the early twenty-first century.

Throughout 美國, there continue to many clinics practicing Eastern mysticism. Many of these clinics are operated by 西斯, using some of the darker aspects of 絕地 science. When you hear “May I take your order?” at the side entrance of such a clinic, it is best to ignore it and drive up to the next window.

See also 西洋迷信.

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