User:SargentBallsack
“Every year four people in the UK die putting their trousers on. ”
“Waaugh aargh blaueaghhh arghhh blergh! ”
“But I pee with that thing!”
| Sargent Ballsack | |
| |
| Date of birth | 2073 |
| Place of birth | Land of Water |
| Religion | Charlie Sheen's blessed Church of heroin |
| Home | Mordor |
| Powers | Bacon |
| Gender | Toaster |
| Weakness | Terrible music |
Sargent "Motherfucking" Ballsack (Gujarati:સાર્જન્ટ અંડકોશ) or more commonly called by his inferiors as "Honest Abe" is the current President of the Internet. Originally he was a professional diver footballer representing for the Earth's intergalactic football team before being replaced by the God of football, Emile Heskey. It was not until he had a Great Idea that he shall become the President of the Internet. "Honest Abe" was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts of keeping the internet a dangerous, strictly controlled virtual world where someone gets shot if they tell the truth safe place, but he achieved only as a runner-up as he lost to Adolf Hitler.
"Honest Abe" has also became the undisputed world heavyweight sleeping champion and has been claimed to watch 10 hour videos on YouTube three times a day as claimed by a trusted broadcast company, Fox News. And not a single fuck was given on that day. Despite his successful accomplishments he has been reported to vandalise edit articles on Wikipedia which would get anyone laid. Moreover, he is one of the few who survived the cataclysmic event of the attack of the 500 foot Jesus.
Sargent Ballsack is most notably famous for tackling the crisis on the internet of "Y PEOPLE SO STUPID". After having a highly-disclosed conference (which is so secret that it managed to make it to this article) with his trusted associates; Robert Mugabe, Mr. T and Bilbo Baggins, they finally found a solution which was to delete facebook. The CIA have responded "This was a ████████ decision by █████████. We ████ that ███████ may ███████ in the future." No truer words have been said.
Honest Abe's long list of awards on uncyclopedia[edit | edit source]
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Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
Hooah!
Honest Abe's spam[edit | edit source]
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This article is KGB approved* |