User:RAHB/ToDo

To-Do

Articles

Arbicles

1. George Carlin Grill
2. User:RAHB/SCP-42069
3. User:RAHB/Where Are They Now?: The Aristocrats
4. Nun porn
5. User:RAHB/Pizza Slut
6. User:RAHB/Underwar Party!
7. User:RAHB/Kobe Bryant In Egypt
8. User:RAHB/Archimedes
9. User:RAHB/Scrambled Eggs: Sexy Or Not Sexy needs more images, certain captions, and audio, including "Liberty Belles" recording
10. User:RAHB/HowTo:Eat a cake made entirely of cayenne pepper with BeezeeBiver
11. User:RAHB/Cherry Coke
12. User:RAHB/Cheers
13. User:Kip the Dip/Things that Rhyme with Orange - was on my watchlist and I vaguely remember agreeing to collaborate on this

Rewrites

1. User:RAHB/Penis
2. User:RAHB/BurtReynoldsOrNot.com

Ideas

1. They call it rapeseed oil because it makes unwanted advances on the flavor of your meal and leaves behind a gooey discharge that makes you fat even though you were trying to prevent that.
2. Eat so much pussy they call me the Head-master
3. Somebody's family member or friend trying to convince them that the Olive Garden unlimited breadsticks is an employee thing and they're getting it special
4. Two friends. One is skinny and one is fat. This is because the skinny guy has a very peculiar tick, in which he can't eat food that is "broken". After taking a bite out of any food, it is "broken" and he passes it to his friend to finish.
5. Saying "Sorry kids" out of context
6. Talking to someone for 20 minutes before saying in a surprised tone "Hey! I know you!"
7. Couple guys at a bar from small towns arguing about how small their towns were, getting progressively more competitive. ("You had a stoplight?!")
8. Someone rambling droning on about their career and shit to a stranger in the petting zoo at the L.A. Country Fair
9. Autobiography written with simple two word descriptors of all the feelings in your life followed by the word "Man"
10. Remember, Alamo Volvo
11. The Tablespoon Channel
12. A weird family that likes to put up photos of their deceased family members to show reverence to them. Except the photos are of them as they were when they died.
13. A couple have decided to have a skydiving wedding. Of course this consists of all of their friends and family holding on for dear life as the cargo doors open and the plane is plummeting through the sky. When they've finished their vows and stuff, ropes are lowered from the cargo bay and they climb down them all the way to the ground.
14. A guy wakes up holding a rutabaga shaped like a bear claw. He's surprised and then he throws it off to the side into a box full of rutabagas shaped like bear claws and goes back to sleep
15. Minor league hockey team's zamboni's instagram
16. A guy who works at a place where they have access to every phone, computer, etc. in the country just to be able to send out an emergency message in the case of an enormous catastrophe. He gets drunk and drunk texts his ex or something. But he planned on getting drunk and telling everyone what he thought of them and his philosophy and everything.
17. Entire support groups for specific things like thinking TV products don't work or people who watch Meteor Men naked
18. The Definitive List Of Everything (Entry One: A hot air balloon)
19. Scandinavian governments declare that access to funky fresh rhymes is a basic human right
20. The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Indiana Jones, acceptance
21. An entire country bans toilet paper
22. A Thousand Calls A Day - parody of "A Thousand Miles Away" by The Heartbeats. About telemarketers and bill collectors.
23. "Sorry for the diabetes"
24. Soldering vegetables
25. Buttholes of the cards
26. Major League Fagging
27. Maurice Ravel stole my bike
28. UnTunes:The Ultimate BUTT POOP!!!!
29. Fuck The Children (UnTune - like We Are The World)
30. An article about piercing or fashion or something wherein kids pierce their nose to have large studio monitor headphones hanging out. And other appliances and shit like that.
31. A website where you can rate drug dealers
32. "You should drink some golf."
33. Start an article by asserting that the topic is absolutely not another entirely unrelated topic. Perhaps touch back on it throughout if it's funny, or assert that it is not other things. As per "Shoe shining, NOT HORSE RACING".
34. Bunny like you MUST!
35. Crocheting a dick-warmer
36. "I'd totally bang a central intelligence with no corporeal form." - "I wouldn't. That's gay."
    • "I'd totally bang all the Portuguese."
    • "I'd totally bang Davy Jones."

This is here even though it never worked

1. User:RAHB/The Garage