User:RAHB/Pizza Slut

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In the year 2364, the pornography and erotic gratification industries in the United States were at their apex. Spurred on by the European Union's complete illegalization of all depictions of sexual activity[1] in the year 2030, American pornographers cranked it up a significant notch. The immediate innovations of blow-up dolls in the likeness of Star Trek characters and the Millenium Dildo™ with an ultra-quiet 80 horsepower engine were only the beginnings of things to come, the small glimmer of genius in the budding minds of the world's future intrepid stalwart inventors.

By 2150, sex toys could talk to the user via an extremely sophisticated speech-recognition system, which could be used to gauge the auto-erotist's levels of pleasure, hold a serviceable simulation of a post-coital conversation with a romantic partner[2], or order take-out at any of several contracted restaurant chains throughout North America. By 2240, a number of pornographic videos were the first to take advantage of scientific innovations in the field of direct neural upload of data from a computer to a human brain, a method of content delivery still heavily utilized to this day.

It is presumed, then, that sexual deviants of the time would have been easily able to predict the development of the product that would soon become the world's foremost success in erotic food-play, maintaining a commanding presence in the ever-growing sexual cuisine industry.


Caption THIS!

ideas[edit | edit source]

  • the logical conclusions of porn where the pizza guy cuts a hole in the box and sticks his dick through
  • Americans like porn and pizza
  • Masturbate-while-you-masticate
  • originally created by some guy with a machine that could transfer brainwaves into creating actual concrete objects, like a 3D printer for your brain. That was just the beginning of an enormous franchise
  • loose women with pepperonis for nipples, god damn
  • Make mention of a time when movement and social interaction became irrelevant and obsolete, which came long after the integration of all forms of media into a few global mega-corporations blurring the lines between music, movies, television, digital media, quantum computing, sex, and food
  • This is a terrible shit-planet of monkey morons and this is actually going to happen O_O

Footnotes[edit | edit source]

  1. ↑ Outside those taking place in Queen Elizabeth's bedroom.
  2. ↑ This setting could be adjusted to simulate the cold emptiness of the conversation of a male partner, or the catty babbling of a female partner. Later models could be dialed anywhere in between.
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