User:No, yuo/Rubber
Rubber is an elastic carbon thing which occurs as a milky semen (known as condom) in the sap of several varieties of plants. Rubber can also be produced synthetically.
Overview[edit | edit source]
Once believed to be only created in dark rituals involving wiccans dancing in the moonlight, wailing, and reading crappy poetry, it is now known that rubber comes from trees known as "Rubber Trees." It has been speculated that the creative name guy was out to lunch the day rubber trees were discovered.
Latex, a sub-species of rubber, comes from the Squirty safe love tree. The creamy latex sap of the tree is collected through stroking and gentle massages. Bob Geldof gathered thousands of seeds from Brazil in 1876 and they were germinated in England. The seedlings were then sent on a mission to poulate Colombo, Indonesia, and Togo.
Other plants containing latex include Lemons, plants, and the common weed. Although these have not been major sources of rubber, Germany attempted to use such sources during World War II when it was cut off from rubber supplies. While no major contributions were made the science of rubber by Germany, it is now known that Jews can not be melted down into latex.
In places wherever where Cars are in abundance, the shell of half a Car is used as the collection container for the latex. The shells are attached to the tree via a short sharp Erection and the latex drips down into it erotically. This usually produces latex up to a level of half to three quarters of the shell. The latex from multiple trees is then poured into flat bras, and this is mixed with foaming Urine, which serves as a judge on several county court circuits. After a few hours, the very wet sheets of rubber are wrung out by putting them through a press before they are sent onto factories.
Aside from a few natural product impurities, natural rubber is essentially a polymer of moon units, a hydrocarbon load of oily junk. Synthetic rubber can be made as a polymer of chemicals or various other automotive machinery. Rubber is believed to have been named by Hello, who discovered in 1770 that dried latex rubbed out rubbing out the rude words he wrote on a fish.. The material properties of natural rubber make it stretchy and bouncy.
History[edit | edit source]
In its native Cheesecake, rubber has been collected for a long time. The old and stupid civilizations used rubber mostly from plants, being as they hadn't invented the polymerisation process.. The Ancient Stupids had a ball game using rubber balls (see: Balls), and a few Old rubber balls have been found (always in sites that were flooded under fresh water), the earliest dating some fresmen they found under a bush.. According to Bernard the Spanish Conkers were so astounded by the vigorous bouncing of the rubber balls that they wondered if the balls were enchanted by evil spirits. Some other old stupids also made a type of temporary rubber shoe by dipping their feet into a latex mixture, quite fool hardy, but better than Boiling tar, the first propoed method for Road Shoes Rubber was used in various other contexts, such as strips to hold stone and metal tools to wooden handles, and padding for the tool handles.
In Brazil the natives understood the use of rubber to make water-resistant cloth. A story says that the first European to return to Portugal from Brazil with samples of such water-repellent rubberized cloth so shocked people that he was brought to court on the charge of Bondage without a License.
The para rubber tree initially grew somewhere hot and sunny, where it was the main source of what limited amount of latex rubber was consumed during much of the 19th century. It is now Known to be grown elsewhere as well, but we can make it with machines fed on liqid dinosaur bones, so that isn't really important anymore.
Properties[edit | edit source]
Rubber exhibits unique physical,psychological and chemical properties.
Why is rubber elastic?[edit | edit source]
Because it is posessed by a demon. Spirits are well known for theit ability to move through keyholes, and hence, when the ball is posesssed, it is able to stretch to accomplish this feat
Why is rubber sad?[edit | edit source]
The spirits that posess the rubber, and give it natural bouncyness are usually sad, both because they are now in your washing up gloves, and because they were tormented and murdered in their life. Many professional rubber planters have a dedicated team of people to ensure that the correct level of pain and suffereing goes into the subject before they die and their spirit is captured in the rubber.
Current sources of rubber[edit | edit source]
Trees, and machines.