User:Mr. turtle

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My sitting fiesta

MUN.svg
Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia
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Notable Quotes[edit | edit source]

Where do you think you're going?
Me sitting in the sun
MAHA!
Me napping
Turtles have guns
Turtles are tank whores
A typical turtle
Go away
My natural habitat
Hehehehe... Shit
Oops
Me on my daily commute to school.
<insert name here>
<insert name here>'s mom
Peekaboo!!!
What the hell, that's not a turtle - That's your mom!!!
Don't be a turtle whore

“Pet my turtle!!!”

~ Mr. turtle on turtles

“Peekaboo!!!”

~ Mr. turtle

“Are you turtly enough to be a turtle?”

~ Mr. turtle on turtles

“Turtles eat turtle food”

~ Captain Obvious on Turtles

“Mr. turtle is a turtle”

~ Captain Obvious on Mr. turtle

“No shit, Sherlock”

~ Mr. turtle on Captain Obvious

“What is Mr. turtle?”

~ Captain Oblivious on Mr. turtle

“Why wouldn't you?”

~ Mr. turtle

“Why not?”

~ Mr. turtle

“Sometimes”

~ Mr. turtle on Yes or no questions

“That is enough to make me OMG out loud”

~ Mr. turtle on Something

“You bet your sweet ass I am”

~ Mr. turtle on Are you a turtle?

“Perhaps”

~ Mr. Turtle on Are You a Turtle?

“Why not?”

~ Mr. turtle on Are you a turtle?

“Why wouldn't you?”

~ Mr. turtle on Are you a turtle?

“Don't be a(n) (insert subject here) whore”

~ Mr. turtle

“Filthy shell whore”

~ Mr. turtle on turtles

“Meow”

~ Turtles on Mr. Turtle

“In Soviet Russia, YOU eat Mr. turtle”

~ Russian Reversal on Mr. turtle

“In Soviet Russia, Turtles run over cars”

~ Russian Reversal on Turtles

“In Soviet Russia, YOU call me a whore”

~ Russian Reversal on Mr. turtle

“Have a nice day in hell.”

~ Mr. turtle on You

Did you know that:[edit | edit source]

  • I am a turtle?
  • That turtles have inpenetrable shells?
  • That turtles are one of the fastest animals on land and water?
  • Turtles and Mr. turtle have obsessions with turtles?
  • Turtles can close or open their assholes by will?
  • Moby Dick is a sperm whale?
  • ..that nothing clears out kidneystones like pouring Drano down your dickhole?

As a turtle, I have many abilities, including:[edit | edit source]

  • hiding in my shell
  • shitting while I eat
  • breathing underwater thorugh my anus
  • whoring a large supply of water in my bladder

My diet includes:[edit | edit source]

What I do all day:[edit | edit source]

What Mr. Turtle does on Uncyclopedia:[edit | edit source]

  • Reporting UnNews
  • Adding quotes(sometimes racist)to articles
  • Adding lots of pictures to articles
  • Adding articles (maybe)

Turtly Articles Written by Me:[edit | edit source]

Turtle Talk: What people think of turtles and Mr. turtle[edit | edit source]

Videos:[edit | edit source]