User:Mr. turtle

This user is on vacation, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected date of return is when the cows comes home. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.

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My sitting fiesta

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Notable Quotes

Where do you think you're going?

Me sitting in the sun

MAHA!

Me napping

Turtles have guns

Turtles are tank whores

A typical turtle

Go away

My natural habitat

Hehehehe... Shit

Oops

Me on my daily commute to school.

<insert name here>

<insert name here>'s mom

Peekaboo!!!

What the hell, that's not a turtle - That's your mom!!!

Don't be a turtle whore

“Pet my turtle!!!”

~ Mr. turtle on turtles

“Peekaboo!!!”

~ Mr. turtle

“Are you turtly enough to be a turtle?”

~ Mr. turtle on turtles

“Turtles eat turtle food”

~ Captain Obvious on Turtles

“Mr. turtle is a turtle”

~ Captain Obvious on Mr. turtle

“No shit, Sherlock”

~ Mr. turtle on Captain Obvious

“What is Mr. turtle?”

~ Captain Oblivious on Mr. turtle

“Why wouldn't you?”

~ Mr. turtle

“Why not?”

~ Mr. turtle

“Sometimes”

~ Mr. turtle on Yes or no questions

“That is enough to make me OMG out loud”

~ Mr. turtle on Something

“You bet your sweet ass I am”

~ Mr. turtle on Are you a turtle?

“Perhaps”

~ Mr. Turtle on Are You a Turtle?

“Why not?”

~ Mr. turtle on Are you a turtle?

“Why wouldn't you?”

~ Mr. turtle on Are you a turtle?

“Don't be a(n) (insert subject here) whore”

~ Mr. turtle

“Filthy shell whore”

~ Mr. turtle on turtles

“Meow”

~ Turtles on Mr. Turtle

“In Soviet Russia, YOU eat Mr. turtle”

~ Russian Reversal on Mr. turtle

“In Soviet Russia, Turtles run over cars”

~ Russian Reversal on Turtles

“In Soviet Russia, YOU call me a whore”

~ Russian Reversal on Mr. turtle

“Have a nice day in hell.”

~ Mr. turtle on You

Did you know that:

• I am a turtle?
• That turtles have inpenetrable shells?
• That turtles are one of the fastest animals on land and water?
• Turtles and Mr. turtle have obsessions with turtles?
• Turtles can close or open their assholes by will?
• Moby Dick is a sperm whale?
• ..that nothing clears out kidneystones like pouring Drano down your dickhole?

As a turtle, I have many abilities, including:

• hiding in my shell
• shitting while I eat
• breathing underwater thorugh my anus
• whoring a large supply of water in my bladder

My diet includes:

• Grues
• Other turtles
• Cats
• Dogs
• Rice
• Noodles
• Birds
• Fish
• People
• Honestly, just everything I see

What I do all day:

• Eat
• Sleep
• Shit
• Swim
• Sit
• Huff Kittens
• Huff turtles
• Wash Turtles

What Mr. Turtle does on Uncyclopedia:

• Reporting UnNews
• Adding quotes(sometimes racist)to articles
• Adding lots of pictures to articles
• Adding articles (maybe)

Turtly Articles Written by Me:

• UnNews:Turtle attacks man - Someone changed it

• UnNews:Turtle Prostitution Buisness Discovered - Huffed!

• UnNews: Transfats found to be healthy

• Pentagram tic tac toe

• HowTo:Plagiarize

• MTA

• Turtle recipes

• UnBooks:The Eye of Argon

Turtle Talk: What people think of turtles and Mr. turtle

• User talk:Mr. turtle

• Turtles

• Evolution of the turtle

• Turtle Washers anonymous

Videos: