User:Mr. Briggs Inc./Barney Hatin' Songs
Note: This article is extremely violent. The squeamish should look away, or else go fatten yourselfs up on ice cream so Hitler can eat you.
Anti-Barney Songs are extremely popular songs with both adolescents, preteens, and intelligent people. Almost anyone who loves the "Barney and Fiends" television show might be inclined to sing one of these catchy tunes.
Examples[edit | edit source]
Joy To The World The Big Man's Dead[edit | edit source]
(Sung to the tune of "Joy To The World")
Joy to the world The Barney is dead We bar-becu-ed his head! Don't worry 'bout the body, I flushed it down the potty, Round and round it goes, Round and round it goes,
"Round and round and round and round it goes!"
Five years later, chewin' on his underwear Wish he had another pair Eaten by a polar bear! Chewin' on his underwear
Nine years later, had another barbecue I had to go to the restroom I run up the stairs and look in the toilet And there was Barney's head!
Joy to the world That Barney's dead We barbecued his head! What happened to his body? We flushed it down the potty Round and round it goes like Indiana Jones We watched it go round and round!
I Hate You[edit | edit source]
(Sung to the tune of "This Old Man")
I hate you You hate me I am going to kill Barney There you see I fed him some led That was easy Barney's dead Please don't cry Just go die It's time for us to say goodbye if you want to see Barney more Just hit T-rex the dinosaur
I hate you You hate me Let's tie Barney to a tree With an M16 and a pistol full of lead We just shot off Barney's head
I hate you You hate me Barney gave you H.I.V. So we punched him in the balls and shot him in the head Now that purple thing is dead
I hate you You hate me Lets all go and kill Barney With a baseball bat And a Four-by-Four No more purple dinosaur
I hate you You Hate Me Let's tie Barney to a tree! I'll get the match, And you get the gas, Let's go blow off Barney's ass..
I hate you You hate me We're a racist family So let's kill that big, fat freak they call Barney Then we will be more happy
I hate you, You hate me Let's hang Barney from a tree With a knife, and a gun, and a bullet through his head Till that purple thing is dead
I hate you, You hate me The ratel army killed Barney With a gun and a tank and 12 atomic bombs We're all glad that Barney's gone
I hate you, You hate me Lets tie Barnie to a tree Stab him in the back shoot him in the head Now the purple thing is dead
I hate you, You hate me Barney's taken ecstasy There you see him,lying on the floor Sorry kids - no more purple dinosaur
I hate you, You hate me I saw Godzilla kill Barney With a fire blast that retard hit the floor No more stupid dinosaur
I hate you, You hate me Barney's stung by a killer bee And now he's lying dead on the floor No more purple dinosaur
I hate you, You hate me Let's be friends and kill Barney With a shotgun *BANG BANG* Barney on the floor No more purple dinosaur I hate you, You hate me But let's get together and KILL Barney With a great big bazooka We blow off his head Sorry kids but Barney's dead
I hate you, You hate me Let's tie barney to a tree With a great big slug A a diss from me and you Won't you say you hate me too
I hate you, You hate me, Barney got stung by a killer bee, And now he's lying dead on the floor, No more purple dinosaur
I hate you, You hate me, Let's tie barney to a tree With an axe to the back and a gun to the head Pull the trigger Barney's dead
"I hate you," "You hate me" "Let's get together and kill Barney" "With my little brother's metal baseball bat" "Barney is dead, just like that"
On Top of Old Oakey[edit | edit source]
(Sung to the tune of "On Top Of Old Smokey")
On Top of a old Oakey All covered in blood I shot evil Barney With a .500 stud
I went to his fun'ral I went to his grave Some people threw flowers I threw a grenade
Now Sorry for Barney all covered in red And now you can all see that Barney is dead
I dug up the body and cloned the remains And just for the pleasure I killed him again
Deck the Halls[edit | edit source]
(A violent Christmas favorite)
Deck the Halls with bloody dino Hahahahahahahahaha See the nuke charge like a rhino Hahahahahahahahaha Barney's dead on Christmas day Hahahahahahahahaha Now There's nothing left to say Hahahahahahahahaha
Evil mind controller's gone Hahahahahahahahaha His remains lay on the lawn Hahahahahahahahaha Now the world is safe again Hahahahahahahahaha No more counting one through ten Hahahahahahahahaha
Barney's evil scheme is ruined Hahahahahahahahaha Now the studio is suin' Hahahahahahahahaha Oops! They ran out in less than an hour Hahahahahahahahaha Barney has lost all his power Hahahahahahahahaha
Deck the halls with heads of Barney Hahahahahahahahaha Serves him right for being crummy Hahahahahahahahaha Now let's sing this song again Hahahahahahahahaha This song shall never end Hahahahahahahahaha* * Repeat
Barney and Friends Theme Song (sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle)[edit | edit source]
Barney was a dinosaur from our creation, bomb him nuke, He'll die from radiation!
Barney was a dinosaur From our imagination, He stuck a pencil up his arse And died from constipation!
Barney is our friend created by genetic engineering, saw a local piecering store and picered himself with earrings.
Jingle Bells[edit | edit source]
(Another violent Christmas favorite)
Dashing through the snow On a pair of broken skis Downhill Barney goes Crashing into trees The snow is turning red We think he's almost dead Now let's go get a two-by-four and hit him on the head
Jingle Bells, shotgun shells Purple dino's dead We struck him with a two-by-four And shot him in the head
Baby Bop, Baby Bop Tried to save his life But an action man from Pakistan Stabbed her with a knife
Row Your Boat[edit | edit source]
(Especially fun around the campfire)
Row, row, row, your boat gently down the stream Throw Barney overboard And listen to him scream
Seven days later he rose from the dead took a big ol' tommy gun and shot him in the head
ABCs[edit | edit source]
(Just for fun!)
A, B, C, D, E, F, G Barney is my enemy! Hit 'im with a piece of lead Now we know that Barney's dead! Now you know I hate Barney Next time won't you sing with me!
Take Me Out to Kill Barney[edit | edit source]
(To the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"
Take me out to kill Barney Take me out to his show Get me a gun and a baseball bat I don't care if you are too slow And we'll shoot, shoot, shoot, to kill Barney Until he hits the floor For it's one, two, three, gunshots wounds No more dinosaur
TIC-TAC-TOE
THREE IN A ROW BARNEY GOT SHOT BY gi joe took hem to the doctor and the docter said "oops, barneys dead he got shot in the head don't worry about the body just flush it down the potty and round and round it goes naraly naraly naraly naraly thats all i knows
History[edit | edit source]
The first episode of "Barney and Fiends" aired on February 6, 1992. By February 7th, most of these songs were well known.
Though a full length CD has been planned, the music label is waiting for a significant number of related lawsuits to clear up. See below.
Legal Recourse[edit | edit source]
Many lawsuits have been started by both Barney and his producers, the Purple Nazi Production Company. Aka Hitler, Castro and Stalin inc. As with "Happy Birthday," any time you sing one of these songs in public, chances are good someone will hear you and file a lawsuit. And if you search Barney attacks, a chick was in a Barney costume doing a show, when a bunch of college dudes got drunk, came on stage, and started beating the S*** out of her she was in the hospital with a concussion. Seriously, google it.