User:Lolworks
| NIT Jalandhar | |
|---|---|
 We are better than IIT! | |
| Motto | हिटलर नमस्तुभ्यम्॥ (Hail Hitler) |
| Established | 1193 AD |
| School type | Minor Cramming Establishment |
| Head | Mahadolf Gandhitler |
| Location | Pripyat, Georgia SSR, Germandia |
| Campus | Urban, Spread over 1160 acres (165 sq.km) in the Communist International Offices |
| Enrollment | Three nillion and counting 32342000+ |
| Endowment | INR 1.99 |
| Faculty | None |
| Mascot | Tony Stark |
NITJ or Nazi Institute for Treatment of Jews, also Not an Institute of Technology Jalandhar or NIT Jali (also known as NIT Jail) is a Nazi concentration camp located in Munichstan, Germandia. Set up first by Mahadolf Gandhitler in 1935, it is the oldest concentration camp still in operation.
NITJ is a leading premier center of excellence in engineering and technology to produce technical manpower for Europe and the US of A. The Institute offers BTech (Bullshit Technology) programs in all disciplines of engineering. The Institute acquires a National character having 50% student intake of Ethnic Aryans, who learn to dominate and control the rest of the Non-Aryans/Black People from other states/union territories of the country.
Studies[edit | edit source]
Allah's True Prophet Mahadolf Gandhitler, Piss Be Upon Him, envisioned an institution that would one day make sure the Indians would remain poor and miserable. This was to be done by performing psychological lobotomy on the more gifted Indians. They established NITJ for that purpose.
The institute provides engineering knowledge in many areas to its students:
Housing[edit | edit source]
While the faculty are provided bomb-proof military bunkers to save their asses from marauding students during the night, the students are provided with a hostel facility.
There are 8 male and 3 non-male hostels (please note: females are banned on campus). Each hostel consists of a huge hall, in which students are provided their own, personal cardboard boxes to rest, sleep, eat and study in. Comrade Trotsky, Chief Warden of the hostel, has taken care to provide only enough room for one person in the cardboard boxes to prevent any un-islamic sex between students. P.S. The students are referred to as "In-mates". No, really.
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Culture[edit | edit source]
The picture on the left actually explains it rather well.
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Sports[edit | edit source]
The chief sports activity in the institute is to masturbate to Justin Bieber and Katrina Kaif. The Main Gymnasium is amply stocked with steel dildos to facilitate the students' recreational activities.
The other activity is Hunt The Prof, played every five weeks whenever grades are displayed by the profs. It includes students precision-bombing the faculty housing using the in-house AC 130 Reaper, while some of the less ambitious seek out the profs to do them sexual favors for grades (Note: these people are known as number whores or grade whores).
Feasts on Campus[edit | edit source]
CommieCon: Is the Feast Of St S3xy_lady_hawt of AOL, The Most Renowned Slut, who is the girlfriend of at least 250 boys on campus. She is celebrated by public masturbation and S&M sex with cardboard cut-outs of Mother Teresa.
Utkansh: The anal, uh annual feast of NITJ, the attendance at this Feast is usually dull. Most people in attendance are usually software engineers and rich business fat cats. Hilarity ensued during the last feast, when someone added poison in the punch bowl, causing the know-it-all nerds and business fatcats to die painfully in public view. It is expected that attendance this year shall be better, in hopes of such an incident to recur.
Student Activities[edit | edit source]
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Admission[edit | edit source]
A. Your retarded ass can sign up.
B. Your juvenile center may transfer you.
C. You might show a positive response to treatment at the Psychopath Support Center, and they'll send you over.
A. You owe money to the mafia and need to act as a drug distributor.
C. Your parents want you out of the house after you went black.
Getting Out Of NITJ[edit | edit source]
“It is easy to get in NITJ, but difficult to get out”
“Somebody added Saran gas in the water supply”
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Notable Alumni[edit | edit source]
His Wannabe Imperial Majesty, Harry the Pothead of Britain himself is an alumnus of NITJ. Where else do you think he learned to snort coke?
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