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Greetings, colleagues. I am here to assist in maintaining -- and improving, perchance? -- this illustrious encyclopedia's reliability.

While for the most part, I am a large nerd with no life. I feel I should create an account to edit this site. I have no social life, girlfriend, or any of that stuff. I take my work of the internet so seriously that it is not even funny. Uncyclopedia is assuredly well-researched, well-presented, and well-intentioned, I have noticed several facts that do not have citations, and even one or two statements that do not appear at first glance to be entirely accurate. In addition, it is my cautious view that Oscar Wilde may occasionally be misquoted here; if true, this merits urgent attention.

I am of the conviction that, as a community college dropout (summa cum laude), it is my academic duty to institutions of edification to help this encyclopedia maintain its factual integrity. Otherwise, I fear that it may risk becoming nearly as unreliable and fundamentally unsound as such works of detritus as Wikipedia and Encyclopedia Britannica.

I realize these words may shock and offend those who hold Uncyclopedia in high regard, but I will not deviate from them! They must be said!

This user is a girl, and is made of sugar, and spice, and everything nice.
This user is a boy, and is made of slugs, and snails, and puppy dog tails.
ego This user is a deluded egomaniac.
Earth Western Hemisphere.jpg This person helps reduce over-population by killing people, thus helping the environment.
pe-F This user got an F in Plain English and likes their native language better (if they have one).
es-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Español.
ja-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of 日本語.
ru-F This user got an F in Русский and likes their native language better (if they have one).
ht-4 This user speaks HTML at a near-native level.
css-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of CSS.
fur-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Furry.
vg-X This user only speaks Vogon enough to seduce native Vogon speakers.
Atrophy.jpg This user cannot follow any orders!!

I've written a few articles, some of which were deleted because they had a different sort of humor. Not the sort of humor you laugh at, more like the sort of humor you roll your eyes and sigh in disappointment at. It's a sort of humor that is generally under-appreciated by all but the most sophisticated persons.

It was once my sole goal in life to have a recipe for every food article. I wrote recipes for nougat, cookie, and assrape soup. However, now I realize that that's a silly, useless goal in life, so now I have devoted my life to the edit-warring, treadmill-like futility of Wikipedia. Much more worthwhile.