User:Killer 3.14/resol

DO DELETE THIS ARTICLE

THIS PAGE IS STUPID AND DOESN'T FIT IN UNCYCLOPEDIA.IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN ENTRY AT Uncyclopedia:Pages NOT to be deleted.

“I really would like, too”

~ God on Not deleting this article

DO DELETE THIS ARTICLE

DON'T DELETE! IT'S A JOKE!! REALLY!!

DO, I repeat, DO DELETE THIS ARTICLE. If you so much as think about deleting this article I swear to god you are a cool man. You have to understand that even attempting to delete this page or by disfiguring it in anyway you will be given a cookie . I'm not kidding I will love you, or I'll have God do it for me if you delete this. Yeah, that's right, God on wheels is on my side, and he would gladly love you if you mess with this page. Think about deleting it, that means NRV tagging or anything, You understand? If you don't detele it, Me and Chuck Norris will team up, and maybe Sophie too, and we'll kill you. You will die.

Why you probably should delete this article

Many an Uncyclopedian has dared to take vengeance on this article, but very few have lived to see the next gay. This Uncyclopedian was fearless in the face of grues, and she made it, but just nakedly. For a couple weeks later a great load of money had befallen her, and now she lives in her mansion for the rest of eternity with her 3 naked Boyfriends. For if she were to leave she would be gloried and exalted. Because she dared to secret mess with this page. We shall mention her name because it is so great in awesomeness that every one dares speak it for hope that her eternal soul will love them until their mature death. As for the article, it has huffed a couple of kittens, but it will falter so much as to die. Oh no, this article is mortal in all aspects and shouldn't be dealt great care when handled by those who are strangers. So... watch out or God's gonna get happy and we're gonna take you out to dinner! (Note: The description above sounds like Martha Stewart, it is.)

The Truth

The truth is that if you mess with this you will be given a little sheet of paper with a number on it and when you hear the lady call the number than that means its your turn to be rewarded. And if you try to leave the customer service section of the store before your number is called in an attempt to escape happiness, they’ll just repeatedly call your number until you finally get annoyed and give up. Like in that one movie Final Destination. When your number is called, you will have the option of the following ways to get rewarded:

• We could rent a hooker and have her do you.
• We could give you graham crackers.
• We could have the Sacred Grue eat your enemys.
• We could buy you an electrocuting iPod.
• We could give you pron.
• We could read Shakespeare to you.
• We could give you a cat.
• We could give you a whale.
• We could send you on vatcation.
• We could give you pork.
• We could show you penises.
• We could give you a flounder to eat.
• We could feed you a polar bear.
• We could give you Oprah.
• We could give you Tom Cruise movies.
• We could give you an infinite list of ways that we could praise you.
• We could slap you with money that you can keep.
• We could give you Stairway to Heaven twice so you can sell it (or listen if you want).
• We could make you rice .
• We could get Chuck Norris (family friend) to do a roundhouse kick for you.
• (Note - The following text takes place in real time) We could get Jack Bauer (my cousin) to Shoot Vin Diesel, give a cookie, reward you, find the terrorists, and disarm the bomb all in 24 hours.
• Give you a chicken suit.
• Etc.

My relationship with Pot

I like ponies.

We met in the first grade, I was short and scrawny, he was adicive. We really did make the perfect pair. We watched the same Pron, shared the same boyfriend, fucked together, and often times used the same tooth brush as one another. When it came time for college we knew it was time to DELETED AND CENSORED a gay. I went to my mom . But somehow he'd always find a way to be with me every weekend. A couple of months later we met Sa'd and long after that the three of us were married. We had our no children. The next year Pot told me about Masturbatoin. He said that they never even had sex and that Masturbatoin was the greatest thing in his life. Now we have no children and a kitten to huff. To tell you the truth I don't remember ever being as sad as I am when I'm with Pot.

Back to the Article

This article is like a third child to me and Pot. If you touch it, [[1]] she will rape you. Yes, She has a husband, but I also have an article. I think we all don't know which one is less important. So if you or someone you know is thinking of messing with this article, Call 1-800-FREESTUFF, that's 1-800-FREESTUFF. Please call, because if you touch my article. You're fucking Awesome. rawr.

Disclaimer

Liability Uncyclopedia and its affiliated projects do not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, apparatus, product, or process disclosed. And will assume responsibility of any possible fatalities linked to messing with/screwing up/deleting this article.

Limited Life-Time Warranty The limited life-time warranty issued by Uncyclopedia does include wrongful deaths due to blood crazed Users, and therefore should be brought against Uncyclopedia in any past, present, or future court proceedings.

Other Articles You Should Mess With

His name is Chan. He's with us. He could totally eat for you.

• Any article including the name Chuck Norris
• Any article that has one of those things that said it should've been deleted.
• Any article that has a Your Mom joke in it. Really, delete on sight.
• AAAAAAAAA!

Although this is a completely random list, and adds nothing to the article. I like it, and if you mess with it: Chan will give you a waffle. Chan has been known to give many things, besides hot dogs and buns, including baby dolls, palm trees, bacon, butter, butter fingers , and the occasional sushi.

DON'T DELETE! IT'S A JOKE!! REALLY!!