User:Chaoarren/Chao
This project has been abandoned, it is free for takeover for another user if they want. Chaoarren Chaohead (talk) 23:52, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
“Chao!”
The chao are a race of creatures that lives on many planets. They have plentyful abilities to help them do that, which was discovered by scientists. Those scientists call their study chalogy. The chao have been known to be called the best pets known to man because of their abilities and have been used in races.
Or people can use them as the perfect slave for getting money.
Types of chao[edit | edit source]
Dark chao[edit | edit source]
The most evil of all the chao. They think they are the most greatest of the chao but they fail anything else than violent and abusive activity. They also hate music other than heavy metal so if one of them tries to play anouther type of music on a discplayer in their area. They will assault the chao and send him home crying. They also go into our world to hunt, and the person who recorded that information was never heard from again.
They were first discovered by explorers on venus who originally thought it was a uncommonly shaped rock. The dark chao went up to one of them and seemingly gave one a hug. But the dark chao had tricked them and set the explorer alight which burned away his protection to the acidic atmosphere and slowly dissolved into nothing. Dark chaos were known to sadists from this.
Any normal person should know that they are emo bastards that shouldn't exist, except for some people.
Hero chao[edit | edit source]
They are the most peaceful of the bunch who live up in their sky island. They sing in harmony in their garden which is in a high voice which is load enough to reach ground level. The song causes the normal chao to cry. And it causes the dark chao to come up there occasionally to tell them to SHUT THE FUCK UP. They have also been attacked by those dark chao because of this more than once.
They are also known as air heads.
Normal chao[edit | edit source]
They are the normal and most common type of chao. They can actually do things that are good as long as those dark chao don't come into their garden and beat them up for no apparent reason.
Chaos chao[edit | edit source]
Considered the most badass chao there will be in existence as their power exceeds greatly over the others. They once told the normal chao to make an annoying song but failed because the normal chao refused to do anything out the usual.
They are created from a chao of any kind who have absorbed the 21 chosen animals after which he/she will go into an evolution cocoon shaped like a chao head.
They are one of the things at the centre of the universe itself due to them not being able to die from age, but all of the scientists want from them is the meaning of life and try to get the Chaos chao to tell it only get the answer, “Chao”. A dark chaos chao got pissed from being asked the question so any times that he beat up the scientists.
Confusion arose from the fact that they are known as Chaos chao, yet their from the chao race and don't cause chaos.
Diet[edit | edit source]
The diet of the chao is slightly varied as they can't eat meat. So they eat fruit, coconuts and lots of spaghetti.
Which in turn offended the Flying Spaghetti Monster until it discovered that they didn't eat spaghetti at all.
Habitat[edit | edit source]
The places of where chao live is determined by which type of chao it is.
The hero chao live in places that are near perfect with little or no bad weather conditions and no hostility. They have even been know to live on floating islands in the sky by flying to them to find harmony.
The normal chao can pick anywhere as their home as long as its not too extreme.
The dark chao as they usually are try to do stuff which is near insanity to others. By living in areas which get devasated by weather and ground that is basically sand. They have been known to live near volcanos and even inside ones erupting as a lot of the dark chao have heat proof skin.
A place that no chao live on are icy places as chao tried to bite a fruit and got frostbite. But those damn scientists took one them there without its strict permission which unfortunately for them turned out to be a hero chao who was actually a dark chao who then beat them up.
Eggs[edit | edit source]
Chao have been recorded to have been born from eggs. It only happens when a chao that is in the mating season sits down and flowers forms around it. Another chao in the mating season can mate with that chao only that sometimes a rival wants to bang that chao as well. A fight breaks out and the loser gets his balls kicked even though chao don't have any. And the winner kisses the chao with the flowers around it. And the egg is formed between them.
This breeding style has made many people call them aliens. A fruit was discovered that could maneblulate chao into breeding that was typically shaped like a heart. This was abused to the point until the US banned the sale of heart fruits in 2006.
Evolution[edit | edit source]
The chao's evolution is unknown as no one has been able to find out what they evolved from as there isn't anything else which have dots above their heads.
Sight[edit | edit source]
The chao have been known to have extremely good eye sight. It's still unknown how they got this. Some think they just had these eyes. Others think it was developed from the search for food, and to see if something wants to eat it.
Head[edit | edit source]
A basic chaos head is shaped like the great mighty penis. A explaination for this shape is that they want to offend humans from taking them away. And if that doesn't work they'll shove its horn up the humans ass.
Chao karate gone wrong[edit | edit source]
The chao karate tourament is mostly peaceful and no violations of the rules normally happen.
But on 15th April 2011 a dreaded thing happened. In the last 10 seconds of a match to go, a normal chao thought “fuck this, I will not lose to a time out!”.
He grabbed his dark chao opponent and opened his mouth. Everyone heard the dark chaos scream before the jaws snapped his mouth in half. The dark chao fell dead to the floor.
The announcer cried out: CHAO WINS, FATALITY!!
The chao then fled from the stadium fearing his capture would be a life time imprisonment and hearing more of the announcers bad jokes.
The horror made chao karate officials change the punishment for murdering an opponent to be his own death.
It was also the first time the dark chao felt fear of the normal chao. And the ones who didn't feel fear beat up the announcer two weeks after the insident.
Chao race[edit | edit source]
The chao even have their own racing competition. Every day there are races of every kind. Because leaving a certain kind of chao will cause people to get beat up.
Beginners races[edit | edit source]
Mainly for the kids which want toys. The races are extremely easy for the champions of the chao races. But the races are hard for the kiddy chao themselves. (What a bunch of noobs)
Middle races[edit | edit source]
They are for the chao which master the beginners races. The rewards are greater than those for the beginners races. They win medals which isn't much better.
Hero race[edit | edit source]
A single hero chao has to beat a group of dark chao in a race. If the hero chao wins the dark chao attack the hero chao and causes an angry chao karate match. And if the dark chao win they attack the hero chao anyway as the bastards they are.
Dark race[edit | edit source]
A single dark chao has to beat a group of hero chao in a race. Only that the dark chao normally cheats in the race. The race is currently banned for this.
Jewel race[edit | edit source]
The chao are racing for jewels. The races normally bring them fortune and fame. However it only happens once a month.
Challange race[edit | edit source]
Simply a race held once a year where chao race other more unique chao.
Nothing more interesting to note.
Why chao are known to be good pets[edit | edit source]
- They don't have an anul digestive system meaning that they will never take a crap on your head.
- They have no interest in eating homework.
- Chao can be forcebred using a fruit. (Lies and is banned)
- They will never attack other chao unless told to in a karate match. (More lies as they can attack each other for any reason.)
Also a dark chao disagreed with this list and beat the editor up, and threatened to vandalise uncyclopedia and beat up the admins including a user called ‹insert name here›, so watch out.
See also[edit | edit source]
- Pet rock: The next best thing to a chao.