Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Kapuso/Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
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User:Kapuso/Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo[edit source]
Kapuso 05:25, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Take note of these points:
- There are some parts of this article that has random: Presidency, Oakwood mutiny, "Arrovo" bills", Death, and Try this Amazing Recipe for "Hello Garci" Bars! Please ignore them because I just copied them from the previous edit by MidwayHaven.
- Mole of Asia refers to the SM Mall of Asia, the largest mall in the Philippines and located in Pasay City, Metro Manila.
- The similarities between Philippine Senators Panfilo Lacson and Alan Peter Cayetano with Harry Potter is that all of them have eyeglasses.
- The reason why Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is called either dwarf or midget is because she is small.
- Rodolfo Noel Lozada, Jr. is one of the latest whistleblowers regarding the ZTE scandal.
- "Arrovo" bills refers to the incorrect prints of the name Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to Gloria Macapagal-Arrovo by the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas on Php 100 bills.
- Extrajudicial killings refers to the killings of activists and journalists that was allegedly attributed to the Administration and its military. Gen. Hermogenes Esperon is the Chief-of-Staff of the Armed Forces of the Philippines while Gen. Avelino Razon, Jr. is the Chief of the Philippine National Police. Their mandate is to follow the President as their Commander-in-Chief.
--Kapuso 03:32, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 | BACK OFF! Javascap has reviewed this article! |
| Humour: | 6 | When I give a 6 on humour, I am not trying to say that the article was bad, it just was not too particularly funny. In Wikipedia, the point is to be factually accurate, to point out relations and information. Uncyclopedia encourages you to make some information up (which you did) and present it with a straight face (which you kinda did). This article does not look like an Uncyclopedia article; rather, it looks like a moderately vandalized Wikipedia. I would recommend a few things to patch this problem up, read HTBFANJS (I honestly think you reviewed, rather then read, it.) Think about your jokes you put in, about half of them I could already see coming when they were put in, and therefore were not funny. This can be called, I guess, the 10 second rule. If you think of a joke in less then 10 seconds, it’s not funny. |
| Concept: | 7 | As I stated in a different review, biographies tend to be hard to do well. For a biography to succeed, you have to make up information, present real information, mix them together, and add in jokes, all at the same time, much harder then joking about something that does not exist. There are a few good biographies out there, and here are some for you to look at. I hope you can get a few inspirations from those articles ;) |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | A few grammatical errors scattered around, two examples being “applied what she have learned” from “Early Years”, “calls her Ate Glo” from your introduction. There were quite a few other scattered around, and some more that probably slipped through the net. Here and there, I found red links, which are a detriment to any well written article (this can be negated, as you had so many relevant blue links). hat you want to do to improve this section is read your article to your English teacher (assuming you have one), and ask him or her to point out any glaring errors. If that does not work, read your article ONE. WORD. AT. A. TIME. To see if anything sounds grammatically incorrect, or just does not flow. |
| Images: | 7 | Your images, however doctored they might have been, were well constructured, and upon a brief glance, I would not have been able to tell you edited them (which is what I expect to see). The amount of images in this article was not too unbearable, which is, again, a good thing. The big problem was this, they were not funny, save for the Warthog With Glasses and the Presidential Booger. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | Avg’d as per Pee Review Requirments |
| Final Score: | 32.5 | I always give homework for any Pee Review I do, and yours is no exception. To recap what I said above, I want to see
If you get all that down, I guarantee that this article will become more shipshape. I will be watching over the next week to see where this article goes. Good luck! |
| Reviewer: | Warm regards, Javascap 16:53, 19 March 2008 (UTC) | |
If I may add just a little in regards to this, you may be better served not relying so much on puns to get your humor across. Instead, try either just using the real name and exaggerating the truth about it, or just making something up and relating it to what you have. Puns are like the little bastard child of comedy: everyone's got them, but everyone would be better off if their mother wasn't such a dirty skank. I've said too much.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 17:01, 19 March 2008 (UTC)