Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Ggarfield/Goroxide Ultimatum

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Goroxide Ultimatum[edit source]

Give me an honest answer. If this is actually Nofu, I want to know (although I hope it's not)--– Preceding unsigned comment added by Ggarfield (talk • contribs)

Hey Garfield. I'll be honest but not brutally honest.   Le Cejak <-> (Dec 3 @ 14:56)
Goroxide Ultimatum
is being reviewed by
CajekHi!
Your Source for Fine Scented Pee
And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him
Humour: 4.6 avg of each section.
  • Intro [5]

Well, at least I know what the Goroxides are. Here's a tip that I figured out: Don't put anything but a period after any surprise or surprise joke. Why? Because with an exclamation mark at the end, it almost seems like the author is gloating about how clever they are. Also, when a joke ends with a deadpan PERIOD, it's like the joke is bashful: just a joke to consider, even if it's hilarious. It's hard to explain, suffice to say that I can show you...

  1. Oscar Wilde's wit is as sharp as a bandsaw and twice as insightful.
  2. Oscar Wilde's wit is as sharp as a bandsaw and twice as insightful!
  • 1 Uncyclopedia [5]

Less specific advice here. Obviously, this is an in-joke for Uncyclopedians. I'm guessing that most people will say "what the fick (sp) is a Goroxide?" You should probably make the aliens more mainstream, like martians. Call your article the Martian Ultimatum or something.

  • 2 The Goroxides Contribute [4]

Hmmm, way way too random. When I look at the title, what do I expect to see? Frankly, I thought it was going to be about chemicals. This is really, really random stuff here. Hard to follow.

  • 3 The Unspeakable [4]

I suggest that you give the aliens human names or something. It might be funnier AND I could follow it. As it is, it's way the hell too random, plus it has vanity which is a big no-no, ESPECIALLY when you're talking about someone else!

  • 4 The Ultimatum [5]

Well, basically the same advice I had in section 1 would fit ANYWHERE in the article, including here.

Concept: 5 You combined two different ideas here, both of which are kinda iffy.
  1. Aliens: Aliens, cool. However, remember the downside to having aliens as a topic: it'll probably lead to utter randomness, which is this article. You have to come up with names for them and planets n' shit, and it all gets very confusing for the reader. (-3) from 10
  2. Uncyc In-Joke: This article is an injoke which means that there is a 90% chance that, no matter how good it becomes it probably will never be featured. In-jokes are really tough to make funny, even if you're an uncyc veteran (which I am not, btw). (-2) from 7
Prose and formatting: 6 The sections are just blocky, and there's a picture just hanging off at the bottom. EVERY SINGLE TIME you have pictures in an article you must do two things:
  1. Make sure it has a caption. If the picture doesn't need a caption to explain it, make sure it's obvious.
  2. The picture has to physically FIT in the article. It can't be trailing off like that!

However, you did okay with grammar and that other shiznit...

Literecy-cat.jpg
Images: 3 Only one picture (-3) that hangs off at the end (-2) that doesn't make any sense (-2). Try to at least put it with the rest of the article! What does smoky the bear have to do with anything?
Miscellaneous: 4.7 I average all your other scores in this box
Final Score: 23.3 I think my review says what needs to be fixed by itself. Good luck, man! Hopefully I helped. Keep it real! Remember the rules:
  1. NO RANDOMNESS!
  2. INJOKES BAD!
Reviewer:   Le Cejak <-> (Dec 3 @ 20:30)


 Thanks, --MajorMajor'GUN' Ggarfield,  Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 22:57, 1 December 2007 (UTC)